Internality, Individuality and Initiative
Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
In Parshat Balak, we meet the gentile prophet Balaam, hired by Balak, King of Moav, to curse Bnei Yisroel, for the nations greatly feared Bnei Yisroel. Against Hashem's wishes, Balaam tries twice to curse Bnei Yisroel unsuccessfully. On his third try, accepting that Hashem will not allow him to curse Bnei Yisroel, Balaam decides to bless them instead. He begins, " The words of Balaam... the words of the man with the open eye... Ma tovu oholecha Yaakov.../How goodly are your tents O Yaakov, your dwelling places, O Yisroel."
We are familiar with this verse as it is the verse traditionally recited upon entering a shul for the morning prayers. But why choose the words of an antisemitic prophet? Wouldn't it make more sense for praise and blessings to come from Moshe and rebuke to come from Balaam? Rabbi Dunner zt”l suggests that receiving a blessing from an avowed antisemite is so unusual that it carries a tremendous seal of truth.
Even more to the point, what did Balaam notice about the tents of Bnei Yisroel that he praised them as goodly? Rashi's answer to this question forms the basis of our continued discussion. Balaam saw that the opening of the tents, the "doorways," were not facing each other. Each tent retained its privacy and its modesty.
Rabbi Pincus zt”l notes that with no doors facing each other in the tents, each person was provided with privacy and modesty, and this is the source of the sanctity of Bnei Yisroel. This value should remain a modern value as well. We should avoid looking into our neighbor's window or open doorway, and we should not stand around to observe another when he may be acting improperly [hopefully, out of character]. And we should also certainly avoid looking into our neighbor's window or open doorway. That curiosity could easily generate unhealthy jealousy as we see what they have. It is important to be satisfied with what we have.
Respecting the privacy of others extends also to their mail and email, and should include respecting the privacy of children, writes Rabbi Pliskin. Unless there is a possibility of danger, parents should not be prying into their children's emails or diaries.
As Rabbi Elazar Hakappar tell us in Pirkei Avos ch. 4, "Envy, lust, and the desire for honor drive a person out of the world." Respecting the privacy of others, keeping our eyes out of their homes and their belongings maintains a distance that protects us from falling into these traps, writes Rabbi Scheinerman in Ohel Moshe. What Balaam saw was the unity without jealousy that existed in the camp of Bnei Yisroel, a condition that brought Hashem's presence to rest upon the camp. Therefore his evil eye had no power over it. His evil eye was closed, שתם, because שנאה תעורר מדנית, hatred arouses the attribute of [strict] justice. With the unity within Bnei Yisroel, no opening was left for Balaam's evil eye to enter. The doors not facing each other maintained this love without envy.
Looking into another's door, into his home, his belongings, his life is the basis of jealousy. Why should I be jealous of what another has, asks Rabbi Kestenbaum? Does diminishing what he has make me any more content with what I have? If I am jealous of something of his, am I seeing the entire picture? Are his beautiful eyes part of a very plain face? Am I willing to accept the challenges that go along with his higher paying job? Do I accept his problems along with what I want of his? Would I be willing to change my life for his completely, the bad along with the good? Both what we were given and what we were not given constitutes the complete package we need to serve Hashem properly and to be happy.
It is within this context that the symbol of the Jewish home is the modest tent of privacy where a Jew lives his inner life, not a life on public display and one-upmanship, writes Rabbi Biederman.
Modesty is such a core value in Judaism that the Prophet Michah challenges us and ask, "What does Hashem demands of us, only... Vehatznea lechet im Elokhecha, to walk modestly and humbly with your God," reminds us Rabbi Ephraim Goldberg. This instruction is so much more relevant today with the pervasiveness of technology and social media. While technology is a wonderful tool for connection to distant family and friends, should it also be used to post every movement in your life, from every new possession to every vacation, from every opinion to every emotion? Are you posting to promote a connection with another or to promote yourself and brag?
When Balaam felt the spirit of God olov, on himself, he suddenly recognized that Hashem's spirit also rested on them, on Bnei Yisroel, writes Rabbi Rivlin, citing the Maor Vashemesh. When Bnei Yisroel lived in that modest condition, connected to Hashem, he couldn't curse them. Bnei Yisroel lives in a condition of modesty in their homes, in a state of connection to Hakodosh Boruch Hu. When we enter the shul, Hashem's home, we are again focusing on our inner life, on our connection to Hashem, and this verse symbolizes the inner, modest world necessary for proper prayer and connection.
In Yechahein Peer, takes a different approach. No door faced another because each Jew has his own "door" to his personal life, to the inner light only he can bring forth. As Rabbi Brazile reminds us, the Gemarra explains that Man was created as a single individual to impress upon us that each individual is unique and has his personal mission in Hashem's service, a mission no one else can perform. We are required to believe that the world was created for me, for my benefit, "Bishvili nivra haolam," But shvili translates not only as "for my benefit," but also as, "for my shvil/my path," a path no one else can follow. It is for me to know Hashem in every way available to me personally. Daily, we pray to love Hashem with all our hearts, souls and meodecha/your wealth. As Rabbi Brazile explains, we are to serve Hashem with every meedah. with every part of our character and persona, not just with our monetary wealth, but with every talent Hashem has gifted to us.
You are unique. You can contribute in ways no one else can. Yes, perhaps through money, but also through your musical ear, through your engineering skill, through your sensitivity to others. We each have our own door through which we can access Hashem.
The medrash tells us that Noach left the ark limping, having been kicked by the lion for being late with the lion's meal. The lion reasoned that since he was the only lion left, if he "died of starvation," there would be no other lions left in the world. Just as that lion valued his uniqueness, so must each of us value our uniqueness; there is no one else in the world exactly like me, no one else who can accomplish what I must accomplish. In Pirkei Avos, Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai asked his disciples which character trait one should pursue in perfecting. Each disciple answered differently. Rabbi Wolbe zt”l cites Rabbi Yerucham Levovitz zt”l and explains that indeed there were different answers, for each person is an individual with a unique set of characteristics. Each disciple answered according to the strong middah Hashem had embedded in him. When we find that characteristic within ourselves, we can develop that characteristic and, conversely, diminish the strong negative character trait, and come closer to achieving our mission in service to Hashem. That characteristic will be the one that arises most often in our day to day lives and interactions.
We can learn something from Balaam, notes Rabbi Hofstedter. Up until this point, Balaam was trying to defy Hashem and curse Bnei Yisroel. With his new realization, he resolved not to curse Bnei Yisroel, but to bless them wholeheartedly. As Balaam changed and embraced his new resolve of his own free will, [at least for that short time] so should we enter that mindset when we enter shul and embrace whatever Hashem wants of us.
When we wholeheartedly resolve to change, to do teshuvah, Hashem will help us. In Shir Hashirim, allegorically, Hashem is knocking and pleading with His beloved Bnei Yisroel to open [the door] for Him. Rabbi Yossi then elaborates, "Open up for Me an 'opening' of repentance, like the size of a point of a needle, and I will open for you openings wide enough for wagons and carriages to enter." If we begin with even the smallest of openings, Hashem will answer us with an overwhelming response, far beyond our effort. But, as Rabbi Dessler zt”l explains, that pinprick must go through and through, so that although it is tiny, it remains open, not superficial like a finger placed in water that the water recovers the hole as soon as the finger is removed. Balaam saw the power of teshuvah, writes Rabbi Reiss citing the Maggid of Mezerich, and he could no longer curse Bnei Yisroel. Homiletically, the openings not facing each other, refers to the ‘small’ opening we need to do in our teshuvah process, and Hashem countering with a ‘large’ opening of siyatta d’Shamaya in return.
We have entered the month of Tamuz when thoughts of teshuvah enter our hearts. We sense Hashem "knocking," writes Rabbi Weissblum. Our problem is that we like to be in control. It is difficult to give up our independence. But teshuvah is not an all or nothing situation. Every mitzvah and every sin is comprised of multiple steps and multiple levels. Citing Rabbi Yisroel of Salant zt”l, Rabbi Weissblum suggests resolving to improve on only one component at a time, staring with the facets that are easier to work on. Find a point that you can manage and focus on that point. Can you pause for a moment to look at the fruit before [or after] you recite the blessing, even if the blessing itself is rushed and rote? Can you caution your friend or family member who is about to speak loshon horo, even though you remain silent around the office water cooler? When you create that small opening for Hashem, He will enlarge that opening exponentially. We must begin with an earnest desire for change, and Hashem responds with tremendous chessed. Hashem controls everything except our fear and awe of Heaven, except our desire for closeness to Him.
Every morning we wake up to a world that is still in galus, to a world of our own distance from Hashem. But when we enter a shul, we are entering an oasis of sanctity where we can turn ourselves around and seek out Hashem, writes Rabbi Zucker. How truly goodly are our homes, our tents, our shuls and our batei medrash, for in them and the spirit they arouse in us we have the opportunity to change our personal lives and impact our national history.