1,564. A Woman Who "Rebels"

Hilchos Ishus 14:8

A woman who withholds marital intimacy from her husband is considered to be “rebelling” against him* and is asked why she is doing this. If she says that she finds him to be repulsive so she can no longer engage in marital relations with him, he is made to divorce her immediately because she should not be treated like a captive who is forced to engage in relations with someone she can’t stand. In a case such as this, she does not receive the value of her kesubah but she is entitled to whatever’s left from what she brought into the marriage regardless of whether or not her husband took possession and assumed responsibility for it. She is not entitled to anything of her husband’s – she should even remove the shoes and head covering that she’s wearing and return them to him, as well as any gifts that he gave her. This is because his intention in giving them was not that she should take them and leave.

Hilchos Ishus 14:9

If she “rebelled” against her husband in order to aggrieve him in retaliation for something he said or did, then the court sends her a messenger who informs her that if she continues in this way, she will forfeit the value of her kesubah, even if it is worth 100 maneh. Announcements are subsequently made in the synagogues and the study halls every day for four weeks to the extent that she has rebelled against her husband.

*This is a two-way street. The case of a man who “rebels” against his wife is addressed in halacha 14:15.