Behind the Scenes

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A young man told me that he went for a job interview and felt the job would be perfect for him. There were great opportunities there, a good environment and it was exactly what he wanted to do. But, he didn't get the job. When he found out, he said, "I'm not going to let it bother me. Hashem must have another place He wants me to be." This is the proper attitude. Instead of complaining or second-guessing what he said during the meeting, he understood that Hashem was working for him behind the scenes. He tried his hardest, but it didn't work out. We don't know what is good for us and what is not good for us. All we can do is try to do what we feel is correct. But we should always feel so fortunate that we have Hashem guiding us and leading us to the places He knows we need to be in.

In the beginning of the biography of Rav Avigdor Miller zt"l, it talks about his younger years, growing up in Baltimore. Due to his family's financial struggles, he decided at the age of fourteen to leave his Talmud Torah and get a job. Every afternoon, on his way back from learning, he had seen a sign hanging in front of a newspaper factory, stating that they were looking to hire young men. On the day he finally decided to apply for a job, he saw a man on a ladder removing the sign. He told him that all the positions were filled. At the time, it was devastating, but years later, he realized that it was the greatest kindness of Hashem, as he went on to stay in learning and become one of the Gedoleh HaDor (Greats of the generation). At the age of seventeen, again he tried to get a job, but was turned down. Again, at the age of 21, he had an interview that he had to take a train to get to. On that day, the train was delayed due to a problem with the track, and by the time he got there, the job had already been filled. Only years later did he appreciate all of the Divine intervention. It can be very painful when a person tries to achieve something but is denied. If he is able to think about Hashem's guiding hand, and that it is for his best, he will be able to handle it much better.

When it comes to Shiduchim, parents can think that a certain person is perfect for their son or daughter, but it doesn't work out. The parents may feel so bad thinking of what could have been. In those situations, as well, they must know: If it didn't work out, it is because of Hashem's loving hand saving their child from marrying the wrong person. We don't know the future, but Hashem does. He is always leading everyone in the direction they need to take to be successful in their life.

 A woman told me that her son has unfortunately veered from the religious path that she and her husband tried to instill in him. He is almost thirty, and she is worried about him finding a nice Jewish girl to marry. Last year, she and her husband started frequenting a local coffee shop, and they became friendly with the young Jewish woman behind the counter. She had good Midot, and after many conversations with her, they suggested her for their son. The boy agreed to give it a try. When he called a few weeks later to set up a date, she told him that she was sick with the flu, and it would have to wait another week. The boy thought she was making an excuse, and he totally lost interest. But she really was sick and didn't show up that entire week for work. But it was too late; the boy already made up his mind. Every time the parents met the girl afterwards, they felt terrible. At the end of December, during the non-Jewish holidays, the parents were in the coffee shop and told the girl, in jest, "It's always the Jewish workers who have to work at this time of year. At least they get paid time and a half." She said, "Actually, I'm taking off the next few days and going to visit my mother for the holiday." It turned out that her father was Jewish, but her mother was not, and she thought that meant she was Jewish. When they heard these words, they immediately thanked Hashem for saving them from a potential disaster. They had felt so bad the past few months, but now they realized that it was Hashem's guiding hand that the girl got sick and their son misread it. It was all orchestrated by Hashem who was watching over them and saving them from meeting the wrong people.

It's not always this obvious, but Hashem is always guiding everyone behind the scenes. We should feel so happy to know that we have Him taking care of us all the time.