Everything is Great

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A man once came to his Rabbi, crying that his child was off the Derech. He said that it was so difficult to live with; it was causing Shalom Bayit problems, family problems and social problems. He asked the Rabbi, "How could Hashem do this to me? All I want is to have a normal religious family that serves Him." The Rabbi responded, "Your first mistake is that you think you are crying by yourself. Hashem is crying with you. As the Pasuk says: "רחל מבכה על בניה מאנה להנחם על בניה כי איננו" - Rachel is a reference to the Shecinah, and she is crying because Her children are lost. Furthermore, when we cry for our children, we have a personal interest. Our image, reputation and peace of mind are at stake. But when Hashem cries, it's a pure and selfless cry. He cries because He truly cares."

Hashem cares so much about our well-being, and it is incumbent upon us to care about Him as well. The greatest level we could reach is when we start being concerned about Hashem's honor. The Gemara says in Masechet Berachot: "כל המשתף שם שמים בצערו, כופלים לו מזונותיו" - Whoever partners with Hashem when he is in pain, receives double Parnasa. What does it mean to make Hashem our partner when we are in pain? Says the Nefesh HaChaim, when a Jew is in pain and he complains, it could very well cause a Chilul Hashem. If a child walks around complaining, and he has a father who could help, but doesn't, it will cause the father a great deal of shame. People will tell him, "Your son is begging me for help, and you're a millionaire? Why aren't you helping him?" or "Your son is sick, and you're the best doctor. Why don't you treat him already?" Hashem has all the money in the world and He is the רופא חולים - the healer of the sick. If a Jew is struggling and complains to everyone about it, and they feel bad for him, they might start questioning why Hashem is not helping him. We know that Hashem is helping. He is doing exactly what is necessary for the person to be successful. But not everyone understands this.

"Whoever partners with Hashem in his pain" means somebody who is concerned about Hashem's honor and keeps his problems between him and Hashem. And that person is truly great. When a great man experiences trouble or pain, he doesn't even want the ones around him to know about it. As the Chovot Halevavot said: "החסיד דאגתו בליבו וצהלתו בפניו" - The pious person keeps his worry in his heart and a smile on his face. Someone who is worried about the honor of Hashem says to himself, "I know what Hashem is doing to me is for my best; I know He loves me; I know He only wants my good. Other people may not fully understand this. I don't want them to think negatively of Him."

The first step is to have real belief in Hashem's goodness. Then we can act on this and always be happy. Everyone has different tests and challenges. It's so valuable to trust that Hashem knows what He is doing. A man came to Rabbi Lugassi complaining about all of his problems. He mentioned that because of what he is going through, he can't learn as much Torah as he used to and can't do as much Chesed as he used to. He asked the Rabbi, "Why would Hashem do something to me that would limit my service to Him? Doesn't He want me to serve Him?" The Rabbi responded, "If you stop complaining and accept that this is the life that Hashem wants you to live right now, that is greater than any other service that you could possibly do for Him. This is an Avoda in itself, and not just any Avoda, but a tremendous Avoda.

Don't complain. Be happy with what Hashem wants for us. Be concerned with His honor. Even if we are not on a level inwardly to feel Hashem's goodness, we should at least show it on the outside. Tell people "Baruch Hashem, everything is great." Of course if someone needs advice or Chizuk, they can tell individuals what is bothering them. Of course in prayer we tell Hashem everything that bothers us. But to everybody else, we smile and say "Baruch Hashem, everything is great."

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