Your Family Business

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Many young men have anxiety about getting married and starting a family. They are already worried about future expenses and paying tuition. They have calculated what they will need to make in ten years and are losing sleep over it now. It occupies their mind day and night. For some, the worry is so severe that they are becoming addicted to medications to calm their nerves.

The problem begins when we think that we must carry the entire burden of earning a living ourselves. If a person thinks that he is all alone to fend for himself in this very big and tough world, it will definitely cause a lot of stress. On the other hand, a person who has a family business to go into is not as worried. He knows that he is not alone; he has a father that is going to take care of him. When we bring Hashem into the picture and understand that He is the one in control of our livelihood, and we are going into His business, the one He has designated for us, it will calm our nerves. He knows about the tuition. He knows about each person's financial situations; after all, He is the one who put us in them. He knows exactly what each person needs to be able to do his job in this world properly.

We have a nature to want to be in control. We want to know that we will be financially secure, as well as our children and grandchildren-עד סוף כל הדורות-for all generations. But we are not in control, and that is a good thing. Hashem purposely gave the Jewish people in the desert enough Mann for only one day at a time, because He wanted to train them to rely on Him. We are best off when we depend on Hashem. We have a Mitzva to rely on him, as it says: "בטחו בה' עדי עד". Relying means that we don't have to have every last detail figured out. We have to make an effort, and we have to have a plan that makes sense for now. But, we do not have to worry about five years from now. Just because a person has a job today, doesn't mean that he will have it tomorrow. Just because a person has a job for twenty years, does not mean that he will have it for twenty-one. Physically, we have to try as hard as we can to earn a living, but mentally, we have to let go and understand that we are just going through the motions. Hashem is controlling everything.

There was boy in the Chafetz Chaim's Yeshiva who was getting older and was hardly dating. The Chafetz Chaim asked him, "What's wrong?" The boy replied, "I only agree to go out with a girl whose family would be committed to supporting me for the first five years of marriage." The Chafetz Chaim asked the boy, "How long do you think you are going to live?" The boy was taken aback by the question, but he quoted a verse from Tehilim that says eighty years. The Chafetz Chaim asked him, "How do you intend to manage after the five years are over?" The boy said, "I believe in Hashem. I know He will take care of me." So the Chafetz Chaim told him, "For fifty years you are willing to rely on Hashem, but you can't rely on Him for five more?" The boy accepted the rebuke.

Yes, we have a heavy burden of trying to earn a livelihood, and yes, we have to sweat for our bread. But Hashem wants us to know that we are not in it alone. As it says in Tehilim:השלך על ב' יהבך והוא יכלכלך-"Throw your burden on Hashem and He will support you." A woman told me that she and her husband are in business together. They are struggling, but they found a great opportunity. The only problem was that they needed a lot of money, which they didn't have, to capitalize on it. Just then, Hashem allowed them to discover an accounting error that credited them with $58,000 that they had no idea existed. They were able to use it and turn everything around.

Someone else told me that there was a man who was struggling and asked the head of a Chesed organization from our community for some assistance. That organization generally did not give out money, but that day they were having an auction, and the director decided to buy that man one ticket in the "Split the Pot" raffle. That night, at the drawing, a child from the audience was selected to draw the winning ticket. He was asked to pray to Hashem that a needy family would be picked. Sure enough, moments late, that man's one ticket was pulled. He won over $7000.

People might be thinking, "Very nice stories, but that is not reality. I can't rely on finding money and winning raffles to be supported." They're right, but those stories show that there is a Hashem in the world, and He helps everyone according to their needs. He will help you too. Don't feel like you are the first person to go through this world with the challenge of supporting a family.

Millions have done it, and somehow, everyone manages to get by, with Hashem's kindness. Their children go to school with everybody else. They have a place to live and food to eat. They might not all go on expensive vacations and have fancy cars. Wealth is decided solely by Hashem. But don't worry yourself with what is going to happen years from now. Live in the present. Try your best to know that Hashem is carrying you, and He will only do what is best for you. The more we bring Hashem into our lives, the more peace of mind we will have and the easier it will be to move forward in life.

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