Oppression, Witnesses, Yichud, Shalom Bayis

Richard B. Aiken

Wasting People's Time (Tircha d'tzibura)

You may not waste people's time or upset them (tircha d'tzibura).

Example: A prayer leader should not:

  • Roll a Torah scroll during the minyan in order to get to the correct place for reading (it should have been done previously) unless necessary;
  • Roll up his tefilin after taking them off for musaf on Rosh Chodesh, before hallel on chol ha'moed of Sukkot, or after hallel on chol ha'moed Passover. (Instead, he should take them off and leave them on the bima until the prayer service is finished, or roll them up during Torah reading).

Oppressing Widows, Orphans, the Poor

There is a special Torah prohibition against antagonizing widows, orphans, and poor people.

  • Widow - You may not antagonize a widow even if she is rich and even once she remarries.
  • Orphan - An orphan only gets special treatment until he/she can fend for himself/herself.

Note: An orphan is usually someone:

    • Without parental support,
    • Who cannot fend for himself either financially or otherwise, and
    • Is usually under 18 years old.

Witnesses: Who May Testify in Jewish Court

Non-Observant Jew in Jewish Court

A Jew known not to observe the laws of Shabbat is not accepted as a witness under Jewish law. However, if it is known that the person would not lie, he or she may be trusted in some cases.

Women in Jewish Courts

It is customary today for Jewish courts to accept the testimony of Jewish women.

Non-Jews in Jewish Courts

It is customary today for Jewish courts to accept non-Jews of both genders as witnesses in some circumstances.

Relatives in Jewish Courts

These relatives of participants in a Jewish court case or wedding may not be witnesses:

  • Parents and their spouses
  • Children and their spouses
  • Siblings and their spouses
  • First cousins and their spouses.

However, it is customary today for Jewish courts to accept relatives as witnesses in some cases.

Yichud

When Yichud Applies

The general rule for yichud is that a man and a woman who is not his wife or a woman and man who is not her husband may not be secluded together. If another adult can enter the room at any time without knocking, there is no problem with yichud, even if the adult is not present initially. Yichud does not apply whenever:

  • A woman has a lockable door that only she controls, which is locked (in this case, men are permitted elsewhere in the building).
  • Direct descendants or ancestors are in a room together (in this case, all other men/women combinations are permitted--even if the other people are not related).
  • Three (or more) women and one man (or more) are in a room, except when they will be sleeping. At those times, four (or more) women and one man (or more) are permitted in a room or enclosed area.
  • Two (or more) men and one (or more) woman/women are in a room.
  • Other people have keys to the room and may enter at any time.
  • One (married) woman is with one or more men and the woman's husband is in the same area (RMH looks at the local business district as the “area,” so wherever businesses would be advertising or marketing would be a local area).
  • For other cases, consult a rabbi.

Father and Daughter Sleeping in Same Room

It is OK for a father and a daughter to sleep in same room.

Peaceful Ways (Darchei Shalom)

Darchei shalom is behaving in a manner that engenders harmony and good relations between Jew-to-Jew and Jew-to-non-Jew. Darchei shalom allows some customs, but not halachot, to be overridden.

Peace in the Home (Shalom Bayit)

Introduction to Shalom Bayit

Shalom bayit is a family at peace, as one unit. When leniencies in law are used to avoid intrafamily conflicts, customs and d'rabanan halachot can sometimes be overridden. But d'oraita halachot may not be violated. Consult a rabbi.

Situation: You want to go to minyan but your wife is overwhelmed with trying to feed several children and she asks you to help.

What To Do: You must miss minyan and help her since your wife's needs take precedence over your wish to pray with a minyan.

Note: With shalom bayit problems between spouses, a rabbi should be consulted for details.

Note: Once someone is married, his or her in-laws are part of his or her family and are included in shalom bayit rules.

Shalom Bayit: Non-Observant Parents and In-Laws

Ba'alei teshuva often have problems with issues of kashrut in their parents' homes. Pots, dishes, and utensils might not be kosher or toveled. Consult a rabbi. Questions of bishul akum (cooking that was done by a non-Jew) might apply to non-shomer Shabbat parents, but the custom is to be lenient.

If the parent's kitchen is known to be non-kosher, food must be prepared with care. If the parents do not lie to their children, they may be trusted as to the source of food and its kosher status.

Since we may not eat from dishes or utensils that have not been toveled (immersed in a mikva), you may want to consider toveling your parents' dishes or utensils, or using disposable goods. In such cases, it is OK to use china that has not been toveled.

Copyright 2015 Richard B. Aiken. Halacha L’Maaseh appears courtesy of www.practicalhalacha.com Visit their web site for more information.