Why Me?

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When a person faces a problem, the natural reaction might be to look at others who don't have that problem and think, "Why me? Why did I have to be the one stuck with this?" I once heard a woman speaking about her trials and tribulations raising an autistic child. One day, she was waiting outside with her child for his school bus to pick him up. When it arrived, a special monitor came out to assist the child on to the bus, equipped with metal bars on the windows. A minute later, the neighbor's school bus pulled up. She watched as the neighbor's child kissed her mother good-bye and ran by herself onto the bus full of healthy and happy children. She thought to herself, "Why couldn't that be me?"(She later described how she eventually understood that this child was also a great gift from Hashem)

If a person is having shalom bayit (marital harmony) problems, and he sees other couples who seem so happy, he begins to wonder, "Why can't I have happiness in my marriage?" Someone who is single looks around at all his married friends and thinks to himself, "Why am I still stuck not being married, and everybody else is happy?" The list goes on and on.

We have to understand, Hashem gives every single person his own job to do. Everyone has his own set of challenges and נסיונות (tests). For one person it's shalom bayit, for another it's raising children, and for another it's פרנסה (livelihood). Hashem gives everyone exactly what they need to achieve their purpose in this world.

There is never a reason to be jealous. We have no idea what goes on in other people's lives. On the outside it might appear like everything is going smooth and easy for someone. But in private, it is possible that the person is struggling on a daily basis. It doesn't matter what everybody else has. Life is about doing the best that we can in the situation that Hashem puts us in.

It is so important to remember that we have no control over results. All that matters is our efforts. For example, a person has an obligation to get married and build a family. If he is trying but still hasn't been successful, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him. It's not his fault. He is making a hishtadlut. He should be happy with the knowledge that he is living the life that Hashem wants right now. Although, it might not be the life he was planning on living, this is the situation he needs to be in now to fulfill his purpose.

Everybody has a different job. We are here only to do our job. Sometimes we wish things would be different, but that is only because we can't see the bigger picture. One day it will all be explained. We will understand why we had to have each hardship. We will see how elevated we became by being strong, doing the best we can and having emunah that every last detail of our lives was carefully planned for us by Hashem.

Every time we feel like saying, "I can't do this anymore," but instead we strengthen ourselves and continue to persevere, it is so precious. The reward is unfathomable. Hashem is righteous. He doesn't make mistakes.  אֵל אֱמוּנָה וְאֵין עָוֶל צַדִּיק וְיָשָׁר הוּא ; Hashem knows exactly what He is doing. By accepting His will and being happy with the role that He wants us to play, we give Hashem the greatest gift of all - our will.

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