Benching After a Shalosh Seudos Sheva Brachos

What is the preferable approach for Sheva Brachos that take place during Seudah Shlishis in respect to benching after shkia and drinking the wine of Sheva Brachos?

The Gemara[1] teaches that one may not eat prior to reciting Havdalah on a cup of wine, just like the prohibition of eating prior to Kiddush. This is because we are commanded to honor the Shabbos by sanctifying the day with wine and only then eating, and marking the end of the day with wine and only then eating.[2] The Shulchan Aruch[3] codifies this halacha and prohibits all eating and drinking, except for water, from sundown until Havdalah is made. The Shulchan Aruch adds that if one washed and began a meal[4] before sunset, he may certainly continue eating even after sundown. This dispensation applies only to foods eaten during the meal, but one is forbidden from eating or drinking once the meal has finished. This raises the issue of what one should do about drinking the כוס ברכת המזון of Sheva Brachos.

The gemara[5] states that when reciting Birchas HaMazon one should do so on a cup of wine. However, Tosfos[6] writes that some believe that this is necessary only when there is a מזומן, and the Beis Yosef[7] notes that the Rambam[8] doesn’t require a cup of wine at all. The Shulchan Aruch[9] cites the aforementioned debate and the Rema writes that it is מצוה מן המובחר to use a cup of wine.[10] The Aruch Hashulchan[11] notes that although the common practice is not to have a cup of wine, on Shabbos and Yom Tov it is customary to use a cup of wine. When discussing the correct protocol at סעודה שלישית, the Shulchan Aruch[12] writes that if one recites ברכת המזון on a cup, it should be kept and then drunk for Havdalah. He adds that if there is enough wine for two cups, the first one is used for ברכת המזון and a second one for הבדלה. The Magen Avraham[13] writes that it is permissible to drink the wine from the כוס ברכת המזון even though הבדלה has yet to be said because the כוס ברכת המזון is attached to the meal. He adds that if one doesn’t usually recite ברכת המזון with a cup, then the wine cannot be consumed before הבדלה [14]. It emerges then that for those who are not particular to always use a cup for ברכת המזון, the wine should only be drunk after Havdalah.

When reciting ברכת המזון at a Sheva Brachos, Tosfos[15] writes that it is proper to use two separate cups of wine one for ברכת המזון and another for שבע ברכות. Tosfos invokes אין עושין מצות חבילות חבילות - not grouping multiple mitzvos together - as the reason for two cups. While Tosfos concedes that not all agree, and while the Shulchan Aruch[16] writes that the two cups is not a requirement, the Rema attests that it is customary to prepare two cups: the first is used for ברכת המזון, the second for six brachos, and then the final bracha of בורא פרי הגפן is said once again on the first cup. Additionally, it is customary for the חתן וכלה to drink wine from both cups; this is done by mixing the two cups together.

When a סעודת שבע ברכות is held during סעודה שלישית that extended into evening, we are faced with a dilemma. On the one hand, following the Magen Avraham, because we don’t normally use a כוס ברכת המזון, drinking wine prior to הבדלה is prohibited. At the same time, שבע ברכות includes בורא פרי הגפן and requires that someone drink the wine. R’ Chaim Soloveitchik felt that in this situation the ברכת הגפן is not said at all and nobody drinks from either cup of wine prior to Havdalah.[17] However, other Poskim find it very difficult to omit this bracha entirely, but they are divided on what is the best approach. Some argue that because it is customary to use a cup of wine when there is a minyan at סעודה שלישית, and it is certainly standard to have a כוס ברכת המזון at a סעודת שבע ברכות, thus even if one doesn’t always have כוס ברכת המזון, in this setting it is “customary” to recite ברכת המזון על הכוס and thus both cups can be drunk from.[18] R’ Moshe Feinstein[19] favors this basic approach as well and he determines that both of the cups should be drunk by the חתן וכלה only. He argues that both cups are part of the שבע ברכות and it is “their” mitzvah and therefore between them they should drink a מלא לוגמיו.

However, other Poskim suggest that it is best to recite all seven brachos (including ברכת הגפן) on the שבע ברכות cup and to drink from that cup only, and the cup used for ברכת המזון should be used for הבדלה. They argue that because a cup is required for the שבע ברכות, even the Magen Avraham would concede that it is deemed part of the meal and hence can be drunk before הבדלה. But the same cannot be said about the כוס ברכת המזון and therefore that cup is not drunk and is used for הבדלה. R’ Srayah Doblitsky[20] too believes that this is the best option. My father shlit”a favors this option as well and the חתן וכלה should be the only ones to drink the wine from the כוס שבע ברכות. Some have suggested that because only the חתן will be drinking the wine it is preferable that he lead ברכת המזון and recite the ברכת הגפן.

In conclusion, there are many options and all of them are acceptable, but the last option suggested is the one that is recommended.

[1] Pesachim 105a.

[2] See Shiurim L’Zecher Avi Mori 2:123-34.

[3] 299:1.

[4] Mishnah Berurah 2.

[5] Pesachim 15b.

[6] D.h. bracha.

[7] 182:1.

[8] Brachos 7:15.

[9] 182:1.

[10] See Mishnah Berurah 4, who assumes this to be true only when there is a מזומן.

[11] 182:1.

[12] 299:4.

[13] 299:7.

[14] See Mishnah Berurah 14.

[15] Pesachim 102b d.h. Shein.

[16] Even HaEzer 62:9.

[17] Moadim U’Zmanim 3:246, he adds that this was the custom of the Brisker Rav as well.

[18] See Tzitz Eliezer 10:45.

[19] Iggros Moshe O”C 4:69:1.

[20] Sovah Smachos 97-105.