Leaving Before the Zimun
Question: May one who began a meal together with others, and wishes to leave before the meal is done, bentch without zimun?
Discussion: As explained above, one who begins a meal along with others is obligated in zimun, and, according to most Poskim, may not leave earlier even when remaining means that he will miss an opportunity to perform a mitzvah.323 There are, however, some instances where one may be lenient and bentch privately so he can leave.
One who finds himself in a situation that arises which is either one of an oness (circumstances compelling that he leave),324 or one that will cause the person a monetary loss, may bentch without zimun. Although the other two people at the table are under no obligation to do so, it is better if they pause their meal to allow the person leaving to bentch with zimun.325
One who knows that he will have to leave early should, when beginning his meal, state that he is not joining the kevi’us with the others at the meal, and as such will not be obligated in zimun.326 This solution may be relied upon in circumstances that make it necessary for one to leave, for example, one who is leaving a wedding early to be able to wake up early to go to work.327
It is ideal to lechatchilah avoid these leniencies. One who anticipates that he will not be able to stay for the entire meal should wait until after the others have already started their meal to begin eating, exempting him from zimun according to all opinions.328
323 Mishnah Berurah (193:16; see also Aruch Hashulchan 193:10) writes that one who is eating as part of a group of more than ten and must leave to perform a rabbinic mitzvah may form a smaller group of three from within the larger group and recite zimun in this manner, even though these three people will lose the opportunity of reciting Hashem’s Name (Elokeinu), providing that a group of ten remains who will form a zimun with Hashem’s Name. If he must leave to perform a mitzvah de’oraisa, a smaller group may be made even if it will mean that less than ten people remain behind. This ruling implies that one who is unable to form a smaller group may not leave, even for a mitzvah. Cf. Yosef Omeitz 159.
324 Mishnah Berurah 193:31 and 200:5.
326 Igros Moshe I:56, (see also Ohr Letzion II, 13:10, Bi’urim). Note, that the stipulation which one makes is not that he does not wish to bentch with a zimun, rather, that his meal is not one that is being eaten “together” with the other people present, a point emphasized by R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv (Shiurei Maran R’ Elyashiv, Berachos, p. 560).
Note, that R’ Mordechai Eliyahu (cited in Vezos Haberachah 14, p. 134) rules that one may have this intent that in mind, and does not need to say it explicitly; Ohr Letzion ad loc. writes similarly. This issue is also discussed in Sha’arei Haberachah 5:39, footnote 94.
327 Igros Moshe ad loc.
Cf. Chazon Ish, who is recorded as having instructed R’ Chaim Kanievsky to rely on this solution only to obviate needing to remain for a zimun of ten people, but not to leave before bentching with a zimun altogether (Orchos Rabbeinu, vol. I, p. 167, 5774 ed.). Eishel Avraham (Buczacz, 193) rules even more stringently, that this declared intent is ineffective in leaving before zimun with a group of ten.
328 Ohr Letzion, ad loc.; Vezos Haberachah 14, p. 134.