Kissing the Dead

We are taught that one should never kiss a dead person. This is true even if the person had passed away only moments beforehand. It is especially inauspicious for one to kiss one's own dead child, God forbid, as doing so is said to trigger the death of additional children.[1] In fact, a number of authorities limit the prohibition of kissing the dead to that of a parent kissing their dead child but permit one to kiss other dead people.[2] Indeed, we find that Yosef kissed his father Yaakov after he died.[3]

Other authorities insist that the prohibition on kissing dead people applies to any deceased person regardless of one's relationship to them. According to this approach, Yosef should not have kissed Yaakov after he died. In fact, one will note that none of Yaakov's other children kissed him after he died, seemingly in compliance with this prohibition. Some explain that Yosef's justification in kissing his dead father was based on the teaching that "Yaakov Avinu never died".[4] It might just be that only Yosef knew that Yaakov was not considered to be dead from a mystical perspective and therefore went ahead and kissed him. Indeed, the Torah records that it was all the other sons of Yaakov, to the exclusion of Yosef, who actually declared that he died.[5] Some extend the principle of "Yaakov Avinu never died" to include all righteous people, that they too are considered to be "alive" even after their passing.

The reason that one must avoid kissing a dead person is because a dead body is considered to be a major source of ritual impurity. When one kisses a dead person or even touches an object of ritual impurity one causes spiritual harm to one's soul, no matter how noble one's intentions.[6] It is also taught that when one kisses a dead person with whom one enjoyed a loving relationship, the soul of the deceased is aroused with a desire to be united again together - in the next world. This arousal is considered to be "dangerous" due to a concern that the deceased's wishes might just actually be fulfilled. One certainly does not want to be reunited with any deceased person until one has reached 120 years of age. Therefore, one is advised not to tempt one's fate.[7]

Nevertheless, there are authorities who permit one to kiss a deceased parent[8] and most other dead people as well, should one feel the need to do so.[9] However, as mentioned, one should never kiss one's deceased children under any circumstances.

[1] Rabbi Yehuda Hachassid 4; D'vash L'fi 50:24.

[2] Mishnat Avraham, Damesek Eliezer.

[3] Bereishit 50:1.

[4] Taanit 5b.

[5] Bereishit 50:15.

[6] Or Hachaim, Bereishit 49:3.

[7] D'vash L'fi 50:24.

[8] Maavar Yavok 41.

[9] Pitchei Teshuva, YD 394:1.