The Mesader Kiddushin

The individual honored to officiate at a wedding ceremony is referred to as the "mesader kiddushin", loosely translated as "the officiating rabbi". Only one who is especially well-versed in the laws of solemnizing marriages should ever officiate at one. Nevertheless, it is not necessary to have a formal semicha in order to do so.[1] It is customary to allow the groom to decide who will officiate as the mesader kiddushin.[2] There are those who have the custom to wear their Shabbat clothes and/or a Tallit when officiating at a wedding.[3]

It is interesting to note that many authorities are rather lenient regarding the minimum qualifications required for one to serve as a mesader kiddushin.[4] According to this approach, not only does the mesader kiddushin not need to be an ordained rabbi, he need not be especially knowledgeable, either. In fact, under extenuating circumstances it is permissible for even a layman to serve as mesader kiddushin. This is based on the view that although it is preferable for the mesader kiddushin to be an advanced Torah scholar, it suffices that he merely be familiar with the basic procedures of a wedding ceremony,[5] which are actually relatively simple.[6] It is customary, however, to only appoint an ordained rabbi to serve as a mesader kiddushin.[7]

Although the ring (or other object of value), the declaration, and the two witnesses are all that are truly needed for a marriage to take effect, there are many other halachic  issues that must be tended to both before and after the wedding. Many such issues would render the wedding ceremony invalid if the officiating rabbi were to overlook them. Among these many details is the obligation to ensure that the groom owns the ring and that the individuals appointed to serve as witnesses meet the required prerequisites. So too, the mesader kiddushin must ensure that the bride and groom are halachically permitted to marry one another, something which is not always as simple as it might seem. Even rabbis with the finest semichas are not necessarily qualified to issue rulings on complicated matters relating to marriage and many only have minimal training for officiating at one.[8]

As a general rule, the honor of officiating at a wedding is to be awarded to the local rabbi and one is not necessarily permitted to invite a rabbi from outside the community to do so. This is partly because officiating at weddings has historically been a major component of the local rabbi's income which may not be denied him.[9] This issue is often a source of contention when the bride and groom hail from different communities and the visiting party desires that their rabbi officiate at the wedding, rather than the local one. In such a situation one is strongly encouraged to discuss the issue with the local rabbi well in advance and to secure his permission to invite an outside rabbi to officiate. So too, the local rabbi should be offered an honorarium as if he himself would have performed the wedding.[10] In fact, in many European communities official decrees were instituted that only the local rabbi was permitted to officiate at a wedding.[11] One is also encouraged to offer an honorarium to the chazzan and any other clergymen who are involved with the wedding ceremony and arrangements.[12] A visiting rabbi who is invited to serve as the mesader kiddushin in a community under the jurisdiction of another rabbi should first introduce himself to the local rabbi before he performs the wedding.[13]

There is some discussion amongst halachic authorities as to whether a rabbi is permitted to officiate at the wedding of a non-observant couple. This is due to a concern that by doing so the rabbi might be condoning a marriage which is likely to ignore the laws of family purity which are among the most sacred in the Torah. There is also the concern that a non-observant couple may not seek a proper Get in the event of a divorce. A divorced woman who remarries without a proper Get is essentially an adulteress from the perspective of halacha and any future children she bears are considered to be mamzerim.[14]While there are a number of authorities who do indeed prohibit rabbis from officiating at such weddings,[15] others permit it and common custom follows this view. This is because it is argued that it is better for an orthodox rabbi to perform the wedding rather than force the couple to appoint a non-orthodox one.[16] So too, it is often permitted to participate in halachically questionable situations for the sake of peace as long as one is not actively facilitating a violation of halacha.[17]

[1] Kiddushin 6a, EH 49:3.

[2] B'tzel Hachachma 2:72.

[3] Minhag Yisrael Torah, EH 49:11.

[4] Beit Shmuel, EH 49:4; Taz, EH 49:1.

[5] Rashi, Kiddushin 6a; Shulchan Halevi 1:27:6

[6] Beit Shmuel, EH 49:4, Taz, EH 49:1.

[7] Shevut Yaakov 3:121, Knesset Yechezkel, EH 72.

[8] Maharsha, Kiddushin 13a.

[9] Divrei Malkiel 4:119.

[10] Rema, YD 245:22. See Shulchan Halevi 1:27:5.

[11] Minhag Yisrael Torah, EH 49:11.

[12] Minhag Yisrael Torah, EH 49:11:2.

[13] Aruch Hashulchan, EH 49:8.

[14] Igrot Moshe, EH 4:120.

[15] She'arim Metzuyanim B'halacha 147:5.

[16] Chelkat Yaakov 1:23.

[17] Meishiv Davar 2:32.