Kesubos - Daf 61

  • What is the halachah when a husband wants his wife to nurse but she does not want to nurse

Rav Huna said: Rav Huna bar Chinana tested us with the following question: היא אומרת להניק והוא אומר שלא להניק – It is clear that if the wife says she wants to nurse, and the husband says not to nurse, we listen to her, צערה דידה הוא – for it is painful for her not to nurse. But if the husband says to nurse and the wife says not to nurse, what is the halachah? Wherever it is her family’s custom not to nurse, we definitely listen to her. If, however, it is her family’s custom to nurse, and his family’s custom not to nurse, what is the halachah? The Gemara answers it from the following Baraisa, that taught: עולה עמו ואינה יורדת עמו – A wife rises to her husband’s financial status in marriage, but she does not descend to it. Therefore, we listen to her, and she does not need to nurse. Rav Huna said the source for this is the passuk: "והיא בעלת בעל" – And she is a married woman . This implies: בעלייתו של בעל ולא בירידתו של בעל – She joins in the ascent of her husband, but not in his descent. Rebbe Elazar said it is from the passuk: "כי היא היתה אם כל חי" – for she was the mother of all the living (chai). לחיים ניתנה ולא לצער ניתנה – which indicates that a woman was given in marriage for living with him, but not given to suffer pain with him.

  •  הכל משהין בפני השמש חוץ מבשר ויין

Rav Yitzchak bar Chananya said in the name of Rav Huna: הכל משהין בפני השמש חוץ מבשר ויין – All foods may be withheld from the waiter, which Rashi explains to mean that they may be eaten by others in front of him, and delayed in giving it to him until after the meal, except for meat and wine. Rashi explains that they must be served to him during the meal, for having to wait will cause him suffering. Rav Chisda said: This only applies to בשר שמן ויין ישן – fatty meat and old wine, and Rava said that it applies to fatty meat throughout the year and to old wine during תקופת תמוז – the summer season. Rashi explains that the aroma then is especially strong, and the summer heat elicits the waiter’s desire for wine. After the Gemara brings incidents of Amoraim who felt endangered if they had not been served different foods, it concludes: כללא דמילתא כל דאית ליה ריחא ואית ליה קיוהא – The general rule of the matter is that any food that has an aroma or a strong taste can harm a person if eaten in front of them and they are unable to partake. The Gemara relates that Eliyahu Hanavi would come to the Amora that fed his waiter after every course, and not to the one who only fed his waiter from one course at the beginning of the seudah, and the rest of the food after the seudah.

  •  המדיר את אשתו מתשמיש המטה

The next Mishnah states: המדיר את אשתו מתשמיש המטה – If one makes a vow prohibiting his wife from having marital relations with him, Beis Shammai say that if the term was up to שתי שבתות – two weeks, then he does not need to divorce her. Beis Hillel say that if the term was no longer than שבת אחת – one week, he does not need to divorce her. The Gemara explains that Beis Shammai derive their source from יולדת נקבה – a woman who gives birth to a female, where marital relations are prohibited for two weeks. Rashi explains that since the Torah mandates abstaining for two weeks, this is not an offence to force a husband to divorce. The Gemara clarifies that Beis Hillel’s source is a niddah, where marital relations are prohibited for a week. Beis Hillel hold we derive מידי דשכיח ממידי דשכיח  - that which is common (a vow of abstinence) from that which is common (a woman becoming a niddah), and Beis Shammai derive מידי דהוא גרים לה ממידי דהוא גרים לה – that which he causes (the vow of abstinence) from that which he causes (the birth of a child).