Kesubos - Daf 62
- What is the proper amount of time for talmidim to leave their wives if they have permission?
The Mishnah on Daf 61b stated: התלמידים יוצאין לתלמוד תורה שלא ברשות שלשים יום – Talmidim may leave their wives to learn Torah without permission for thirty days. The Gemara asks, if one does have permission from his wife, for how long is it proper to leave? Rav said: חדש כאן וחדש בבית – One month here in yeshivah, and one month at home, for the passuk states: “Who served the king in all matters of the divisions, who entered service and left, חדש בחדש לכל חדשי השנה – month by month, in all the months of the year”. Rashi explains that Rav learns from these extra words, that there were groups that rotated on a monthly basis, and Rav infers that this is proper conduct for a talmid chochom leaving home. But Rebbe Yochanan says, חדש כאן ושנים בביתו – one month in yeshivah and two months at home, for the passuk states: "חדש יהיו בלבנון שנים חדשים בביתו" – for a month they would be in Lebanon and for two months at home. The Gemara explains that Rav did not use this passuk, for building the Temple is different because it could be done by others. Rebbe Yochanan did not hold of Rav’s passuk, since for one who works for a king, אית ליה הרווחה – he makes a considerable profit. Rashi explains that his wife will not mind his going every other month, since he will bring home sizeable earnings. But the wife of a talmid chochom might feel she has nothing to gain from her husband’s mitzvah.
- רוצה אשה בקב ותיפלות מעשרה קבין ופרישות
The Mishnah had stated: החמרים אחת בשבת הגמלים אחת לשלשים יום – Donkey drivers must have relations with their wives once a week and camel drivers, once every thirty days. Rashi explains that donkey drivers would travel to the villages to bring grain to sell in the market and camel drivers would bring goods from distant places. Rabbah bar Rav Chanan asked Abaye: חמר ונעשה גמל מאי – If a donkey driver wanted to become a camel driver, what is the halachah, since this will change the frequency of their having relations? Rashi explains that if women generally prefer intimacy over wealth, then the wife can object. But if wealth is generally more important to women, then she cannot object, even if she says that she prefers intimacy. Abaye answered: רוצה אשה בקב ותיפלות מעשרה קבין ופרישות – A woman prefers a kav and intimacy over ten kabin and abstinence.
- עונה של תלמידי חכמים אימת – מערב שבת לערב שבת
The Gemara asks: עונה של תלמידי חכמים אימת – When is the time for marital relations for talmidei chochomim? Rav Yehudah said in the name of Shmuel: From erev Shabbos to erev Shabbos, referring to Shabbos night. Rashi explains that this is a time of תענוג שביתה והנאת הגוף – pleasure, rest and physical enjoyment. The Gemara brings the passuk from the first perek in Tehillim that says that one who is constantly involved in learning is like a tree…אשר פריו יתן בעתו – that gives its fruit in its proper time. Rav Yehudah said, and some say it was Rav Huna or Rav Nachman: זה המשמש מטתו מערב שבת לערב שבת – This refers to one who has marital relations from Shabbos eve to Shabbos eve.
