Entering Eternity
Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
Parshat Shemos contains one of the seminal scenes in the history of the Nation of Israel. Moshe, our first and greatest national leader, is tending his father in law's sheep in the wilderness. He notices an unusual phenomenon in the wilderness, a bush is burning but is not being consumed by the flames. When Moshe turns to observe the bush more closely, Hashem enters into a dialogue with him, appointing him as the one designated to bring Bnei Yisroel out of their enslavement in Egypt.
Moshe does not consider himself the right choice for this undertaking. First he asks, "Who am I... that I should take Bnei Yisroel our of Egypt? Hashem reassures him, saying,"For Ehekeh/I shall be with you," Hashem then gives him a sign as further encouragement, that after their liberation, the nation will worship God on this mountain. How can a sign not yet materialized provide proof for the present?
But the dialogue continues. Moshe asks Hashem for the Name of Hashem he should use in speaking to Bnei Yisroel. Now Bnei Yisroel most certainly knew Hashem and His Names. What the Ramban suggests is that Bnei Yisroel understood that each of Hashem's names constitutes a different attribute of the supreme Being. What Bnei Yisroel would want to know is through which of His attributes, mercy, nature, judgments, etc. would He be manifest in this deliverance. Hashem's answer was, "Ehekeh Asher Ehekeh/I Shall be As I Shall Be," which He later abridged to, "I Shall Be" has sent me to you."
This is the most unusual Name of Hakodosh Boruch Hu. It appears nowhere else in all of Tanach. The only other place it appears, is in our Rosh Hashanah liturgical poem Vechol Ma'aminim/All Believe," where Hashem is referred to as the true Judge Whose Name is 'Certainty'. It is a cryptic Name that implies the unknown, the Unknowable and the Eternal, God's Name of the future. In support of this idea, the Tiferes Shimshon notes that whenever we want to discuss something hidden and eternal, it always appears in three's. As examples, we have "Kadosh" recited three times in Kedushah, and le'olam ulolmay olamim in Kaddish. The three words here therefore also constitute one single Name of Hashem, a Name evoking the future and the eternal. With this Name, Hashem can give a future proof for the promise of deliverance, that Bnei Yisroel will accept the Torah at this place.
In answer to Moshe's question, Hashem originally told Moshe the three word Name, alluding to future exiles when Hashem will continue to be with us. Upon Moshe's suggestion that talk of future troubles while deep in the current exile would be discouraging, Hashem agreed, and amended the message to Bnei Yisroel, "Tell them I will be with them [through this one exile]." Nevertheless, we, in our current Diaspora should take heart in the original message, that Hashem is indeed with us here as well. Hashem, speaking grammatically in the first person, is using His name of mercy, the YKVK third person we are familiar with, that He will always be with us mercifully throughout our history. In a medrash that Rabbi Wolbe cites from Rashi, Hashem showed Moshe a brick of sapphire He kept under His throne so that He is constantly reminded and remains in empathy with the suffering of Bnei Yisroel who were forced to make bricks in Egypt.
Within this merciful Name lies another message, continues Rabbi AsherWeiss. We are to gather strength in this current exile, for, although it is difficult, there is purpose in this exile. While the times appear as full of darkness, all is light in the world of Hakodosh Boruch Hu. It is only the darkness we are in that is preventing us from seeing it. [We are in a room with the light turned off. CKS]
The Ramban takes a different approach to our discussion. When Bnei Yisroel will ask for His Name, posits Ramban, they are asking for proof of His existence and His manifestation in the world. To this Hashem responds that they need not worry about His involvement with them. The proof of My existence is that when they cry out to Me in their troubles, I respond. In this context, Rabbi Parness in Lev Tahor suggests that Megillat Taanis was written by Chananya ben Chizkiyahu who suffered greatly, but valued his troubles because they offered him opportunities to thank and praise Hashem every time he called out to Hashem and Hashem came to his aid.
In making this request to Hashem, Moshe himself wanted to know a name that would reflect Hashem's personal presence in our world, writes Rabbi Broide in Sam Derech. The best proof of Hashem's existence lies in the power of prayer, in Hashem's "being there" and hearing us, even when our prayers are wordless and informal. Hashem answers the desire within our hearts, as He answered Leah Imenu who wanted to be the mother of more of the holy tribes of Bnei Yisroel. Even though Leah did not articulate a prayer, Hashem responded to her desire and gave her a fifth son, Issachar. In Egypt itself, Hashem heard our sighs, even without words.
Obviously, prayer is not rote recitation of words. For prayer to be effective, it must be heartfelt. One must have a full sense that he is standing before God. One must be prepared for this encounter at least with as much care as one would prepare for encountering a head of state. [After all, Hashem is the head of all the states.] If you see someone involved in prayer, standing Shemoneh Esrai, do not walk in front of them. Would you walk between two people in deep conversation, or would you go around them or wait? [Many people are unaware of this halacha. I find it helpful, if they are standing in the aisle leading to the exit, to wait and then suggest to them that next time they should consider standing immediately behind the chair or bench in front of them instead of directly in front of their seat. Then one can walk behind them. While they are not technically blocking the aisle, one may still not walk in front of them. They usually appreciate the suggestion. CKS]
We have to daven with the realization that we are indeed having a conversation with Hashem. We have to feel that reality, and our stance should reflect that. The desire to connect, even without words, is already a form of prayer. Hashem hears every one of us individually, and each gets an appropriate response, albeit not necessarily within the time frame we request. And when we do open a siddur in formal prayer, approach the words with the understanding that you are really standing in Hashem's presence. When you have concluded your audience with the King, respectfully step back three paces rather than just turning your back on his presence and walking away.
The Shvilei Pinchas, citing the Arizal, brings a whole new understanding to this Name of Ehekeh Asher Ehekeh. Each name of Hakodosh Boruch Hu provides a new dimension to His essence. The particular Name Hashem would use therefore depends on the unique situation. However, the seal of Hashem is Emes/Truth, and His truth is validated in each of His Names. Now if we take EHeKeH, equal to 21, and multiply it by the second EHeKeH, we get a total of 441, the same numerical value as EMeS. Anyone who calls out to Hashem completely, sincerely in truth, Hashem will be close to them (Tehillim 145:18).
Since He judges in truth, we can add another layer to our understanding. By using the doubled Ehekeh, the Ramban, as cited by Shvilei Pinchas, we can understand the relationship to be reciprocal; as we interact with Hashem, so will He interact with us. When we say, "Hashem tzilcha/Hashem is your Shadow protecting you, we are also saying He mirrors your actions, as would a shadow treating each of us as individuals, in absolute truth.
In Melachim/Kings 15:9, we are told that Shlomo HaMelech was the wisest of all men, and that he spoke shloshet alaphim/three thousand proverbs. But shloshet alaphim can can also be translated as "three letters aleph." In this context, the great wisdom that Shlomo taught the nation was that Hashem would be with every person who clings to Him, in accordance with the letter aleph that begins each word in this Name of Hashem.
The Nesivot Shalom finds an allusion to teshuvah in this Name. Bnei Yisroel would be concerned how they could merit the redemption, given how deeply steeped they were in the depraved Egyptian culture. This three word phrase, "I Shall Be As I Shall Be," is all in the future. Hashem was teaching Moshe the power of teshuvah, that even if the penitent fails, he still has the opportunity to do better the next time. But Moshe is hesitant to tell Bnei Yisroel that they may fail. Hashem accepts Moshe's anxiety, and instructs him to tell Bnei Yisroel to do teshuvah this one time, and the proof will be that they will worship Me on this mountain.
But there is a caveat. You must faithfully desire that change in order to believe it, writes Rabbi Eisenberger in Mesillot Bilvovom citing the Arizal. The desire is the catalyst for the change. When you leave Egypt, you must work on transforming yourselves for forty nine days, but the final result, the ultimate purification, is a gift from Hashem, from the hands of our Father in Heaven, reminds us Rabbi Steinwerzel. If we begin the process and make a commitment, Hashem will lift us up and help us connect with Him.
How can we access the process? As we've noted earlier, the numerical value of EHeKeH is twenty-one. Rabbi Brazile in Bishvili Nivra Haolam, notes that this is the same value as in the word hoda'ah/gratitude. When you appreciate all the blessing Hashem has bestowed on you, the sense of gratitude ignites a desire to reciprocate His generosity. The day that is most conducive to this feeling is Shabbat. The Psalm we recite for Shabb(v)at bears witness to this idea, As we declare, " A song for the Shabbat day. It is good to thank Hashem..." Shabbat is the day we reconnect with our spiritual side and seek closeness to our Creator. It is a time to return, to shuv, to understand that the past is gone and we have the ability to start anew and connect again to the Infinite. How? Through gratitude.