Resources for Yevamos daf 43
מראה מקומות
1. The גמרא says that before marrying a nursing woman one must wait 24 months from the day after the child was born. There is an interesting מחלוקת הפּוסקים as to what the הלכה is in a leap year. The מחבר in שולחן אבן העזר סימן י"ג סעיף י"א paskens that even in a leap year one only needs to wait 24 months. That certainly seems to be the simple understanding of why the גמרא said 24 months instead of two years. However, the רמ"א paskens that in a leap year one should wait 25 months. Why would that be? Why would the baby care if it was a leap year or not? The חמדת שלמה addresses both points and explains that the גמרא often uses two years and 24 months interchangeably. When the גמרא said 24 months it meant as a חומרא that it needed to be a full two years but not as a קולא to allow less than two years. As to why the baby would need 25 months in a leap year, he brings the ירושלמי that says when חז"ל said a girl’s בתולין do not come back after three years, if it is a leap year it will come back one month longer since ‘s פּסק חז"ל affect the physical world. Therefore, if it is a leap year the child who would normally nurse for 24 months would need 25.
The חמדת שלמה has another incredible חידוש. He says that since babies nowadays do not typically nurse for more than 18 months and many for 15 months, a woman can get married at 18 months after birth. He says this is not a violation of being מבטל a תקנת חז"ל since we only says אין ב"ד יכול לבטל דברי חברו אלא אם גדול מנו בחכמה ובמנין when you are eliminating the תקנה entirely. However, here we are just lowering it from 24 to 18 months. However, he says not to rely on this unless there is another סניף להיתר. The חתם סופר brought in the פּתחי תשובה in סימן י"ג אות כ"ט strongly disagrees and says חז"ל knew it was only a small minority of women that nursed for 24 months but wanted to protect those children. The ערוך השולחן in אות ל says an even stronger language: he quotes the חתם סופר and adds says that חז"ל were very aware of human psychology and knew that women would shortchange their babies because of their strong desire to get married and convince themselves their babies didn’t need to nurse more even though they did. He adds that anyone who thinks they are smarter than חז"ל probably don’t believe in תורה שבעל פּה even if they won’t say it openly.
2. The גמרא says that אבילות ישנה and אבילות דרבים are different. There is a מחלוקת ראשונים how to understand those words. רש"י says that both are weaker. The ראשונים ask on רש"י that even if they are both weaker it doesn’t alter the validity of the ק"ו the גמרא made. תוספות in ד"ה שאני therefore disagrees and says that while אבילות ישנה is weaker and one can therefore be מארס, we still have to be מחמיר by משא ומתן and כיבוס since it is אבילות דרבים and people work and launder publicly and people will see them working and think they aren’t חושש להתאבל על ירושלים. The ריטב"א has a third explanation and says that by אבילות ישנה it needs חיזוק so we forbade כיבוס as opposed to אבילות חדשה which didn’t need didn’t need חיזוק. However, when it comes to אירוסין we only need to be מחמיר by אבילות דיחיד since no one will stop them from marrying, whereas by אבילות דרבים no one will let him get married during the week of תשעה באב since everyone is in אבילות. The אור שמח in הלכות שמחות פּרק ו הל׳ ה answers for רש"י and says that what רש"י meant is that both אבילות ישנה and אבילות דרבים are more lenient. However, there are reasons why laundry and משא ומתן are different. In other words, even though אבילות חדשה is more strict and we forbid אירוסין, we can’t make a גזרה on כיבוס since laundry is important and death is not something one can put on the calendar so the person won’t be able to do their laundry in advance. This is what “חדשה“ is addressing. We also can’t allow משא ומתן since going to work is in public and people will think that others aren’t being חושש להתאבל על ירושלים like תוספות said. This is what was meant by אבילות דרבים.
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