Resources for Yevamos daf 6
1. Our גמרא says that we should learn from the fact that the עשה of כיבוד אב ואם is not דוחה the לאו דמחמר that עשה is not even דוחה a ל"ת anywhere, to which the גמרא responds that כיבוד אב ואם is worse since it is a הכשר מצוה. In the חידושי ר׳ נחום, he discusses the question which is asked by many אחרונים which is how could you learn from כיבוד אב ואם to other places to says that אין עשה דוחה ל"ת when the whole reason כיבוד אב ואם is not דוחה is because of “כולכם חייבין בכבודי” and not because of a lack of דחייה? The broader, more fundamental question is really what does “כולכם חייבין בכבודי” teach us? Does it mean there is no מצוה at all when the father asks for something that is against the תורה or is it still a מצוה of כיבוד אב but it is just not דוחה a ל"ת? He explains that there are two levels. On the level of דחייה, the מצוה of כיבוד אב ואם really should be דוחה a ל"ת. The concept of “כולכם חייבין בכבודי” isn’t a סתירה to that since, as רע"א explains in ב"מ דף ל׳, if עשה was דוחה ל"ת then it is כבוד ה׳ to do the will of the father as the ל"ת was removed. The only reason it isn’t דוחה is because כיבוד אב ואם is a הכשר מצוה so it can’t be learned from כלאים בציצית, but the מצוה is still a miztvah. However, there is a second level which isn’t דחייה but rather how to choose between two options. In תוספות ד"ה נגמר it is clear that even without being able to learn from כלאים בציצית, and even thoughאין עשה דוחה ל"ת ועשה, we still might think that כיבוד אב ואם should win since הוקש כבודם לכבוד המקום. In that scenario we aren’t talking about being דוחה a לאו out of existence since you can’t be דוחה it. We are saying that we know an עשה ול"ת exists, but כיבוד אב should still win out since it’s הוקש כבודם לכבוד המקום. It is on that that we say כולכם חייבין בכבודי and if the לאו still exists, that following that is the better כבוד ה׳.
2. Our גמרא talks about a father telling his כהן son to go into a cemetery. There is a major מחלוקת ראשונים on our דף as to whether there is a מצוה of כיבוד אב ואם when the parent asks you to do something that doesn’t give them personal הנאה. A classic example is if your mother asks you to wear a coat outside because it’s cold. The גמרא in קידושין דף ל"א ע"ב lists מאכילו, מלבישו, etc. It doesn’t say “listening to them”. The ריטב"א is clear that there is no מצוות כיבוד אב ואם just to listen to them for it’s own sake. All the cases our גמרא lists must be cases where the father asked you to go into the cemetery because that is the only place you could cook for him. However, the רשב"א is less clear. The רשב"א sounds like the ריטב"א except he says that just listening to them for it’s own sake is not the kind of מצוה that could possibly be דוחה a ל"ת. The ביאור הגר"א in יו"ד סימן ר"ם ס"ק כ"ה is מדייק that there is still some מצוה, just not the main מצוה. The חזון אי"ש in יו"ד סימן קמ"ט אות ח׳ calls it like a “חצי שיעור” type of מצוה. The חזון אי"ש also suggests that not listening to a parent may be included in מורא under “סותר דבריו”.
3. There is an interesting תרומת הדשן in סימן ק"ב who says that we all know that if your חנוכה candles go out you don’t need to relight them as כבתה אין זקוק לה. The תרומת הדשן is מחדש that this even applies on Friday when you light when it is still daytime and it goes out while it is still daytime. He proves this form our גמרא. He says our גמרא tries to say that שחוט לי בשל לי should be able to be דוחה a ל"ת even though it is just a הכשר מצוה. You see from there that הכשר מצוה is considered doing the מצוה. Therefore, by חנוכה too, when you do the הכשר מצוה of lighting on Friday it should count as the מצוה. The קובץ הערות at the beginning of סימן י"ג asks that the גמרא is a proof the opposite way! Our גמרא says that הכשר מצוה is the very reason it isn’t דוחה so you see it isn’t like the מצוה itself!? He answers that the גמרא only called כיבוד אב a הכשר מצוה after it said it was talking about the לאו דמחמר since מחמר is a pure הכשר מצוה as making the donkey carry isn’t an intrinsic necessity for the father to have the food. He calls it a “הכשר דהכשר.” However, שחוט לי בשל לי is always required with meat so it is considered like the מעשה מצוה. The same is true for lighting early on Friday.
Rabbi Millman's Marei Mekomos Halacha
Rabbi Yaakov Blumenfeld - Shakla Vetarya
Rabbi Yechiel Grunhaus - Points to Ponder
New Daf Hashavua newsletter - Shavua Matters
Rabbi Mordechai Papoff - English Topics