1,792. Did the Man Appease His Wife?

Hilchos Geirushin 9:9

Let’s say that a man grants a divorce on the condition that it takes effect if 30 days pass without seeing her face. If he came and went several times but he was never secluded with her and 30 days pass, then divorce is effected. Although he came and went within the 30 days, the get takes effect because he was never alone with her. This is the case when he stipulated that he takes her word as to whether or not he appeased her. However, if he doesn’t accept her word, we suspect that maybe he appeased her when he visited her, she acceded, and he canceled the get. That would make the get invalid even after 30 days. Similarly, if a man tells a woman, “This is your get after 12 months have passed,” if he lives in the same city as her, we are concerned that he may have appeased her unless he agrees to take her word on the matter.

Hilchos Geirushin 9:10

The same is true of all conditions that depend on the woman’s will over which the get would be canceled if she’s willing to forego the conditions for her husband. In all of these cases we are concerned that he may have appeased her unless he says that he takes her word. This is the case when a woman is being divorced after marriage, at which point he knows her well; if a couple divorces after betrothal, we are not concerned that he may have appeased her.