260. Ingratitude: The prohibition against cursing one’s parents

We have a problem here. As we have established, the Torah only states a punishment for an act if the actual prohibition is stated somewhere else (see Talmud Sanhedrin 54a). As we answered in Mitzvah #48, the prohibition against striking a parent, one is not allowed to strike anyone and that includes one’s parents. Since striking a parent has a penalty different from striking others, it is counted as a separate mitzvah.

Similarly here, one may not curse anyone. We’ve been prohibited from cursing the great and mighty (Mitzvah #69 and Mitzvah #71) and we’ve been prohibited from cursing the lowly and humble (Mitzvah #231). One’s parents are in there somewhere! And, since cursing one’s parents has a unique penalty, it is counted as its own mitzvah.

While always prohibited, one must curse a parent using the Name of God to incur the death penalty. Unlike the prohibition against striking a parent, this mitzvah applies both in one’s parents’ lifetimes and after. A person of questionable legitimacy is liable for cursing his mother (who is known) but not for cursing his father (who is suspected of not actually being his father).

The reason for this mitzvah is that it is supremely disrespectful to curse one’s parents. Whatever their flaws may be, we would not be here if not for them and we should show our gratitude for that.

This mitzvah applies to both men and women in all times and places. It is discussed in the Talmud in Sanhedrin 84-85 and in the Shulchan Aruch in Yoreh Deah 241. It is #318 of the 365 negative mitzvos in the Rambam’s Sefer HaMitzvos and #46 of the 194 negative mitzvos that can be fulfilled today in the Chofetz Chaim’s Sefer HaMitzvos HaKatzar.