1,673. Inability to Fulfill the Commitment

Hilchos Ishus 23:15

If a father commits money for his daughter’s marriage, she doesn’t acquire it until the marriage is finalized; the same is true for a son. This is because when one makes such a commitment, his intention is for when the marriage is finalized. Therefore, if a man makes a commitment to his daughter’s fiancé but the groom dies before the marriage is finalized so that the woman is obligated to his brother in yibum (levirate marriage), the father can say that he only intended to give the money to the deceased, not to the deceased’s brother. This is true even if the deceased was ignorant and his brother is a Torah scholar, and even if the woman wants to marry this second person.

Hilchos Ishus 23:16

If a man promises money to a prospective son-in-law but he then moves to another country, the woman can tell her fiancé that she didn’t make the commitment so the fiancé has the option to either finalize the marriage without a dowry or to divorce her (from betrothal). If she did make the commitment herself but she was unable to raise the money, she remains in a state of limbo until she raises the money that she committed or dies. One might ask why she doesn’t dissolve the marital bond by “rebelling” against her husband. This is because, when it comes to a “rebellious spouse” in a state of betrothal, the scenario is that the husband wants to finalize the marriage and the wife refuses. In this case, however, it’s the husband who doesn’t want to finalize the marriage until she pays the dowry that she committed. She wants to finalize the marriage as can be seen by her demand that he either finalize the marriage or divorce her. All this only applies to women over the age of majority. If a woman made a financial commitment when she was a minor, then her fiancé is compelled to either divorce her or finalize the marriage without the dowry.