Bestowing Blessings
Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
Parshat Vayechi, by the very nature of its name, records the end of life events of our Patriarch Yaakov Avinu, with a strong focus on the blessings he gives his children and grandchildren. When Yosef Hatzadik hears that his father is ailing, he takes his two sons and rushes to his father’s bedside. There Yaakov Avinu blesses Yosef Hatzadik and his sons, Ephraim and Menashe. Both the positioning of Yaakov Avinu’s hands and the words of the blessings themselves offer many areas for contemplation.
Ordinarily, one would rest his right hand on the elder son and his left hand on the younger. Although this was the position Yosef Hatzadik presented his sons to Yaakov Avinu, Yaakov Avinu purposefully crossed his hands to put his right hand on the younger son Ephraim, and his left hand on the older son, Menashe. As Yaakov Avinu is blessing the sons, another question arises regarding the actual terminology of the blessings. Vayevorchem/[Yaakov Avinu] blessed them that day, saying, “Becha/By you (singular) shall Israel bless, saying, ‘May God make you like Ephraim and Menashe.’ ”
Whom was Yaakov Avinu blessing? The switch from the singular to the plural raises that question. While Yaakov Avinu blessed them on that day, when do we use this blessing? Most of us are aware that this is a blessing parents bestow upon their sons on Friday night. It is also a blessing Sephardim recite at the circumcision ceremony. Further, as ArtScroll infers, it is a blessing a parent can use any time he wishes to bless his son.
What is interesting, notes Rabbi Frand, is that the parallel blessing for our daughters references our Matriarchs, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah. Why are Ephraim and Menashe substituted here for the names of our Patriarchs? Further, why is this the quintessential blessing for our children?
Let us begin by discussing why it has become an ingrained custom to bless our children this way on Friday night before the family sits down to its Shabbat meal. While Friday night is an auspicious time for blessings and requests, it is so because Shabbat itself is the source of blessings, as we sing in Lecha Dodi, writes Rabbi Yaakov Avinu Emden. Shabbat also brings a sense of peace into the home, adds Rabbi Gamliel Rabinowitz. During the week, parents may often get frustrated and annoyed with their children, but when Shabbat arrives, we want to remove any negative feelings and create the sense of serenity the arrival of Shabbat augurs.
Rabbi Belsky z”l offers a simple, logical interpretation of what seems to be a contradiction from blessing them, Ephraim and Menashe, to “through you (singular)”, Yosef Hatzadik himself, will Bnei Yisroel bless others. It is human nature for parents to feel pride and indeed blessed when their children carry on their legacy. When Yaakov Avinu declared that Ephraim and Menashe would be a source of blessing for Bnei Yisroel, this was indeed the greatest blessing and source of Yiddishe naches for Yosef Hatzadik himself, attesting to the fact that there was indeed no contradiction in the terminology. The specific blessing for Ephraim and Menashe, adds Vayovenu Bamikra, is that the angel that rescued me [Yaakov Avinu] from all evil should bless these boys so that they will continue the legacy of the forefathers. Further, Ephraim and Menashe will have such power to bless others, as was promised to Avraham Avinu, that whoever invokers their name in blessing others will have generated a powerful force in fulfilling the blessing, adds Daas Torah.
What is the essence of the word berachah, which we translate as blessing? Rabbi Zweig in Infinity of Torah explains that the root of our word is bereichah/pool/source. In this context, a blessing can only occur when the item we wish to bless retains its connection to its source. Therefore, as the Gemarra recounts, if a farmer blesses his grain after he has counted the bushels, the blessing over his grain loses its effectiveness, as the farmer has claimed it as his own and severed its relationship of ownership from its Source, Hakodosh Boruch Hu. If he blesses the grain before he counts it, while he still attributes ownership to Hashem, its value may indeed increase (although not its quantity). Since all we have comes from Hashem, we want that relationship to continue, so that Hashem will increase it, and then we may derive benefit from the “grain” or from the stocks and bonds we follow.
The purpose of man, continues Rabbi Zweig, is to recognize that everything in our world should be traced back to Hashem. That is why we recite berachot before enjoying food or any other entity. That is why the Torah begins with the letter beis, to signify berachah/blessing/connection, whereas aleph, the first letter of our alphabet, signifies separation and accursedness.
How then can aleph be the first letter with which Hashem revealed Himself to us at Sinai with the word Anochi? Chazal interpret Anochi to be an acronym for Ana Nafshi Chetvat Yehevit/I Myself translated and gave. But our commentators offer a more cogent translation; those four words mean, “I wrote and gave over Myself.” By definition, the Torah is always connected to Hashem. Therefore, Hashem had to create some separation between the complete Torah and mankind so that we would not be subsumed within Him. Therefore, the narrative of creation with which the Torah begins starts with the letter beis, the blessing still connected to its Source, but not its essence. As Chazal state, Yisroel, veOrayta, veHakodosh Boruch Hu/Israel, the Torah and Hashem are inextricably linked, and each is a source of blessing because of this connection. And Yosef Hatzadik Hatzadik is the strongest human paradigm of this Divinity.
Ephraim and Menashe continued this legacy. Even though they were raised in the impure, decadent society of Egypt, Yosef Hatzadik was able to instill in them the values of his father and grandfather, and remain a source of blessing to others. They retained their connection to Hashem despite all odds. They even exceeded their potential, replacing their father Yosef Hatzadik as not one, but two of the Tribes of God. We bless our children that they too should maintain that legacy. By declaring that Jews will bless their children this way, Yaakov Avinu was empowering all Jewish parents to be connected to the Divine and be a source of blessing, continues Rabbi Zweig. In fact, Yaakov Avinu placed his hands on the heads of Ephraim and Menashe, invoking the rite of semichah, of continuing the legacy just as our rabbis receive their ordination. This ritual was not part of Yaakov Avinu’s blessings later to the other tribes.
Since Shabbat is the source of blessings and of our connection to Hashem, we invoke these blessings on Shabbat. It is part of our tradition that Yosef Hatzadik epitomized. Similarly, at a bris/circumcision, we are establishing our physical connection to our Creator. And if we want to counteract the effect of a possible ayin horo, perhaps when someone compliments us, we should immediately attribute that blessing or achievement to Hashem.
How do Menashe and Ephraim give us the secret to connecting to Hashem? As Rav Kofman z”l points out, Menashe and Ephraim, although they were not raised in Eretz Yisroel but in exile in Egypt, present a model of survival to overcome the obstacles in our diaspora and remain dedicated to living a life of connection to Hashem. In this respect, adds Rabbi Druck in Aish Tamid, Menashe and Ephraim reached even greater heights than the other tribes and represent spiritual growth rather than spiritual decline so often associated with subsequent generations.
As part of the blessing, Yaakov Avinu compares Ephraim and Menashe to fish, “… And may they proliferate abundantly as fish within the land.” This too is a message of how we are to survive our exile, writes the Ner Uziel Milevsky z”l. Like fish who survive unseen under the cover of water, we too should keep a low profile and remain out of the public eye for ultimate survival in the diaspora.
But we strive not just for physical survival. Ephraim and Menashe showed us that even in exile, we can continue the study of Torah. While Ephraim studied Torah with his grandfather Yaakov Avinu, Menashe took on the role of Zevulun. Nevertheless, even in that role, he made time to study Torah. Therefore, every time a member of Bnei Yisroel studies Torah in our current exile, he is elevating the souls of Ephraim and Menashe who showed us the way, continues Rabbi Druck z”l. What Yiddishe naches the souls of Ephraim and Menashe must have experienced in heaven as they witnessed the recent siyum haShas!
Rabbi Frand presents us with a more social reason for using Ephraim and Menashe as paradigms for blessing our children. These brothers could certainly have been jealous of each other. After all, the younger brother got top billing in the blessing. Yet neither brother complained. They had learned how to overcome the sibling rivalry that seems to be the theme of all the relationships in Sefer Bereishit, adds Rabbi Roberts. This is the blessing we wish upon our children. What a wonderful note for Sefer Bereishit to end on.
The Meged Yosef Hatzadik, Rabbi Yosef Hatzadik Sorotzkin, points out how what we originally thought was a contradiction, actually supports this point. “Becha yevoreich Yisroel…/In you[singular] will Israel bless...” The use of the singular reinforces the idea that there was unity between the brothers [just as the singular vayichan/and [he] camped at the foot of Sinai to receive the Torah refers to Bnei Yisroel who were totally united in heart and spirit CKS].
To survive in the world, we must have people involved in the physical aspects of survival as well as in the spiritual aspects. While Ephraim sat and learned with Yaakov Avinu, Menashe was Yosef Hatzadik’s chief of staff in running the Egyptian economy writes Rabbi Frand. Both are important, but we can impart to our children the necessity of making Torah primary in our lives even when we need to go out to earn a living. This is the message Yaakov Avinu was imparting for future generations. Yes, you may need to be a Menashe, but keep your focus on the Torah of Ephraim. Verbalize your aspirations for them as future talmidei chachamim, even if they train to earn their living as a doctor or lawyer. By crossing his hands over the two, Yosef Hatzadik was connecting the two aspects of Yosef Hatzadik’s life, communal leadership and Torah study, writes Rabbi Schwab z”l.
Rabbi Matlin in Netivot Chaim gives us further insight into Yaakov Avinu’s message with the use of the singular becha. Yaakov Avinu recognized that Ephraim and Menashe were individuals, each with his own area of expertise. So should we recognize the individuality of each of our children. Some may indeed be more suited to the outer pursuits of Menashe, while others will be more suited to the confines of study in the beis medrash. We bless each to be successful in his pursuits while always remembering the primacy of Torah. Do not compare yourself to what others accomplish in their spheres, only what you can aspire to in yours. This has to be your goal, to accomplish and exceed expectations, as Ephraim and Menashe did, writes the Ohel Moshe. When we bless a baby at his bris, we bless him that he become “big/great,” to reach his personal potential, as Ephraim and Menashe did.
Becha, through you, Yosef Hatzadik, will Israel bless, writes Rabbi Yosef Hatzadik Salant z”l. A parent may question his ability to bless his children, but just as Yosef Hatzadik was able to withstand and overcome, so can we, as long as we connect ourselves to the peace that Godliness brings. Reconnect your children to Torah and to Hakodosh Boruch Hu in spite of the challenges that life brings. That will create the blessing in their lives.