170. More Important than Kaddish

26:21 If a person with yahrzeit was unable to say Kaddish because he was traveling or he simply did not receive one, he can say Kaddish at the maariv service following the day of yahrzeit.

26:22 While saying Kaddish and leading the prayer services are a source of merit to the departed, they are not the main thing. It is more important for the deceased that his children follow the path of righteousness. Regarding this, the Zohar says that a son honors his parents with food, drink, and clothing during their lifetimes. After they pass away, he must honor them even more! If he walks a bad path, he brings them shame but if he walks a righteous path, he honors them in this world and in the next. God then has mercy on the deceased and seats them in a place of prominence. A person should therefore teach his children to be diligent in a particular mitzvah, which will be a source of greater merit than saying Kaddish. This is especially true for someone who only has daughters.