194. Bearing a Grudge

30:8 If you want revenge against an enemy, work on developing your positive characteristics and follow righteous paths. In this way you will have your revenge because your enemy will feel bad when he constantly hears good things about you. If you perform shameful deeds, your enemy will rejoice when he hears of your dishonor and thereby have his revenge on you. 30:9 Holding a grudge against a fellow Jew violates a Torah prohibition (Leviticus 19:18). An example of bearing a grudge is, when one is refused permission to borrow an object, he later lends to the one who refuses but he says, “See? I’m lending to you even though you wouldn’t lend to me!” Instead of holding a grudge, we are supposed to forget the matter entirely. Being able to overcome such resentments helps build a functioning society.