Influencing Individuals
Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
After Hashem tells Avraham Avinu Avinu to leave his home and birthplace and go to the land He will show him, Avraham Avinu takes Sarai his wife, Lot his nephew, “And all the wealth that they had amassed, v’et hanefesh asher asu b’Charan/and all the souls that they made in Charan...” Rashi offers two answers to the first obvious questions, who were these “souls?” They were either the people Avraham Avinu and Sarai had converted over the years in Charan, or they were the servants in their household.
Rabbi Wolbe z”l reconciles these two interpretations. It is logical that these souls were the servants, part of the wealth they had accrued. But Avraham Avinu had acquired these servants for the purpose of converting them, suggests Rabbi Wolbe z”l.
Nevertheless, how can one determine that these souls refers to people who had converted to monotheism? Vezos LeYaakov points out that later, when the Torah credits Esau with having six nefashot/souls (plural), it does so because each person worshiped a different god. Here, the souls were all of one nefesh/soul (singular) since they all had the same purpose and worshiped the one God.
How does one “make” a soul? If it means that Avraham Avinu converted these people, how do we explain Avraham Avinu’s success in a relatively short time with Noach’s failure to influence anyone in 120 years of building the ark? Noach entered the ark only with himself and his immediate family. Not a single individual was influenced to enter with him. After all, Noach himself was a tzadik, a righteous person. But as Rav Hirsch explains, these converts attached themselves to Avraham Avinu Avinu forever.
If we want to understand what it means to “make” souls, one needs to go back to the first use of this phrase. Back in the story of creation, Hashem says, “Naaseh Adam/Let us make man in our form and in our image.” The Shvilei Pinchas, Shlita, citing the Yismach Moshe, tells us that Man was a completely new creation, different from the animal kingdom. Whereas after each level of creation, Hashem proclaimed, “Ki tov/It was good,” Hashem does not proclaim that the creation of Man was good. Why not? Because there is a fundamental difference between animals and Mankind. Animals are completely formed at birth with everything they need to achieve their full growth. Instinct and physical needs are all they require. Mankind, on the other hand, must exercise free choice in moral, ethical, and even in physical situations to achieve his full potential. In this way, Man is constantly involved as a partner with God in recreating himself and growing his soul. Just as a convert must go through a learning process before he is reborn as a Jew, writes Rabbi Gifter z”l, through learning Torah, we also go through an improvement process that recreates us. When we perform mitzvoth with full focus and intention, we are recreating ourselves from potential to reality, adds Rabbi Wolbe z”l.
Just as Hashem created Man, we have the obligation to “create” others by teaching them Torah and bringing them closer to Hakodosh Boruch Hu, writes the Shvilei Pinchas. Citing the Maharal, Rabbi Friedlander z”l continues, without Torah, man is no different than an animal. You raise him to the human condition by teaching him to overcome his animal nature and limiting his animal desires to live within the guidelines of acceptable Torah behaviors, whether with food, speech, sex, or any other natural instinct. As the verse in Iyov/Job teaches, “Man was born l’amal/to struggle.” What is this struggle? Lilmod al menas lilamed/To study for the purpose and goal of teaching [others].”
According to the Shvilei Pinchas, herein lies a key difference between Noach and Avraham Avinu. Noach understood Naaseh adam to mean that one must improve oneself to be tamim/whole and pure; Avraham Avinu understood that through improving others, you are elevating yourself as well.
Rabbi Menachem Zaks z”l quotes the Tana Debei Eliyahu who provides a more esoteric interpretation to understanding the function of these two great men in the history of the world. The existence of the world will be divided into three major epochs of 2,000 years each. The first 2,000 years were an epoch of tohu/emptiness, void, without the Torah. The second 2,000 years were an epoch of Torah, of establishing kiruv, a closer relationship with Hakodosh Boruch Hu. The final epoch will usher in the epoch of Moshiach. The question Rabbi Zaks discusses is when did the second epoch of Torah begin? It did not begin when Avraham Avinu Avinu personally came to a realization that there is one God and he was thrown into a fiery furnace for that belief. It began when Avraham Avinu established a kiruv center, inviting others to rest and eat in his tent, then introducing them to monotheism. Why does Hashem choose Avraham Avinu to continue this mission? Hashem testifies: “For I have known, loved him, because he commands his children and his household after him that they keep the way of Hashem, doing charity and justice...” Avraham Avinu’s mission would be to influence others in the path of Hashem.
When Avraham Avinu and Sarah Imenu Imenu took these people with them, they took the converts with them spiritually, creating them anew, because those who believe in any other deity are considered spiritually dead, writes the Ner Uziel Milevsky, for as the Gemarrah tells us, a convert is considered as a newborn baby beginning its life under God’s covenant.
Rabbi Shrage Grosbard asks how it is possible to create a person. However, if we realize that we can “create” a person physically, we can understand that we can also create a person spiritually. Even a “lost cause” can be reborn if we search for the particular spark within that individual, fan the flame of that positivity, and “build” the new person. Catch them doing something right, complement them, and build on that moment. As the Seforno points out, Noach did rebuke the people of his generation. For 120 years, while building the ark, Noach told the people what they were doing wrong and what punishment to expect. He knew how to learn to do right himself, lilmod, but he did not know how to teach others, lelamed, to do right. Noach knew how to discipline; Avraham Avinu Avinu knew how to educate and inspire. Educating Hashem’s children is even greater than educating one’s own children, for teaching these others and bringing them closer to their Father in heaven is purely for the sake of Heaven, while when teaching your own children, you hope to experience some personal naches, adds Tiv Hatorah.
Like the acacia tree that shoots its branches downward back to the earth to become the roots of new acacia trees, so did Avraham Avinu Avinu plant the roots of monotheism in others, writes Rabbi Scheinerman, citing Sefer Cheshbon Hanefesh. So, if we are to ask ourselves, as the Ramchal suggests, what did our forefathers do that endeared them so to Hakodosh Boruch Hu, we should remember that their life’s work was always to plant and grow other “trees” to serve Hashem. Then we too will be a blessing to others as Avraham Avinu Avinu was in his world.
The Torah tells us the terrible punishments for one who incites others to sin. The reward for one who influences others to righteousness must be commensurately great, even if his efforts are not successful. One of the main methods of influencing others, even young children incapable of understanding, is to expose them and model a life filled with observing mitzvoth. Avraham Avinu Avinu planted orchards, and when others thanked him for their shade or for the food he gave them, he thanked Hashem and explained that Hashem was the actual provider, and that he, Avraham Avinu, was merely God’s servant, writes Rashi. In this way, Avraham Avinu gathered many disciples for monotheism, but how was he able to retain them?
Sometimes the best evidence of the methods and characteristics of a teacher lies in observing the traits of his students. Pirkei Avot/Ethics of our Fathers enumerates three characteristics that define a disciple of Avraham Avinu Avinu, ayin tovah/a good [positive] eye, ruach nemuchah/an undemanding spirit, and nefesh shefeilah/a meek soul. In this first characteristic we see the major difference between Noach’s methods and those of Avraham Avinu Avinu, notes Rabbi Zweig in The Infinity of Torah. Noach saw the faults of the people and rebuked them. Avraham Avinu, on the other hand, noticed the positive in each individual and complimented him, building up that person’s confidence and creating a bond between them. Show him the great potential within him so that he will want to live up to that elevated image. Everyone likes to assert his own independence and not be controlled by outside forces. Avraham Avinu introduced bowing to Hashem and offering Him sacrifices and libations, mitzvoth not commanded to gentiles. But Avraham Avinu understood that converting these idol practices to positive worship of the one God would draw these people closer to Hashem by putting positive spin on what they were already doing. Avraham Avinu showed them how great they could become. Avraham Avinu saw the good in each individual and fostered it into growth.
This should also be the main objective and method in parenting. While discipline is important and children must be restrained, unless a child has a good sense of self and realizes how great he can be, he will constantly be rebellious and try to undermine parental authority. As often as possible, catch the child doing something good and praise him for it, show him that he is in training for greatness, and he will generally try to live up to that image. Tell him you are happy to see him, how his smile lights up a room, how nicely he shares, and verbally recognize any other good things he does.
Ayin tovah is also the trait of not begrudging our neighbor the good bestowed upon him. This is possible, because partnered with this trait is the ruach nemuchah/undemanding spirit bequeathed to us by our patriarch Avraham Avinu, writes Rabbi Twersky. By being satisfied with what we ourselves have, we do not begrudge others what they have.
The Ohel Yehoshua discusses an interesting anomaly in this verse that sheds some light on Avraham Avinu’s unique ability to influence others. Normally, we would expect “making souls” to precede “all the wealth they amassed,” as certainly the souls are more important than the riches. However, in this case, says the Ohel Yehoshua, Avraham Avinu’s success in the spiritual area was dependent on his being a greater role model to others than Noach was, on living the morality he espoused. Noach lived a full ten generations after the flood, including fifty- six years that overlapped with the life of Avraham Avinu. Yet we hear nothing of his influencing anyone else during this time. Since the sin that sealed the fate of Noach’s generation was theft, it was important to establish that Avraham Avinu had achieved his wealth from his own endeavors without stealing from others. He even muzzled his animals so they wouldn’t graze on land that did not yet belong to him. Being content with what he had and thereby becoming a model of proper behavior influenced others to want to be more like him. The source of Avraham Avinu’s contentment was his belief in God Who provided him with all his needs.
The world Avraham Avinu inherited was a world of tohu/emptiness and void, writes the Imrei Kodesh. There were people in the world, but like independent dots on a page, they were unconnected to each other. The tikun/rectification was to bring people together first through love and caring for each other and all that belonged to the other, whether it was his honor or his possessions, and then one could be brought to a love of Hashem. The key is to realize that we don’t live in isolation, caring only for ourselves, but in unity to a higher purpose.
Bnei Yisroel achieved this unity when they camped at the foot of Har Sinai. The Torah’s terminology is vayichan ha’am/the nation camped (in the singular]. The most famous interpretation of this grammatical anomaly is that the nation camped as one unit, with one purpose. But a more homiletic interpretation suggests that vayichan comes from the root of chen/grace, favor, that every Jew saw good, found grace in his neighbor, a perception that led to unity and love.
This caring for a fellow Jew comes down in our our DNA to this day. When a Jew needs help and is away from home, through Jewish geography, a Jew is found nearby. Invariably, this local Jew, a complete stranger, will be there and give the help that is needed. Avraham Avinu connected to others in their need, raised them up to see beyond themselves until they could see the Power that united us all.
Unfortunately, it is obvious that only a few remained loyal to Avraham Avinu’s vision and followed through. Rabbi Bar Chaim in Hegyon Leivov explains that changes and growth become part of you only through struggle. Avraham Avinu Avinu struggled through ten tests with tremendous self -sacrifice, and overcame each one so that his faith and love of Hakodosh Boruch Hu kept increasing. These converts encountered no such struggle, and so, having invested very little in their belief, they soon left it. We must learn from this. We must constantly work on improving our faith and love of Hashem so that it will become part of the essence of our lives. We must work on seeing the good in others, recognizing the good in our own lives, sharing our gifts and talents with others, and through these connections, bringing us all closer to Hakodosh Boruch Hu.