Resources for Moed Katan 22

Rabbi Yitzchok Gutterman

  1. The גמרא says that if a person was במקום קרוב when שבעה began, then he counts the שבעה with the main group sitting by the מת’s house. Most of the גאונים and ראשונים says that the maximum distance to still be considered במקום קרוב is ten פּרסאות. The גמרא in פּסחים tells us that a person can walk ten פּרסאות per day, so that means the אבל can be up to one day’s worth of travel away. The נימוקי יוסףexplains that the reason for this is that since had the אבל heard ביום קבורה he could have come the same day, it’s as if he had come. The question is how we view this nowadays when people can travel anywhere on the planet in one day. Do we view it as if the whole world is now מקום קרוב or do we say לא פּלוג and outside of 10 פּרסאות (around 24 miles) is considered מקום רחוק? See the ערוך השלחן in יו"ד סימן שע"ה ס"ק י"ז who says that in his days where locomotives were available everywhere, as long as a person could get to the שבעה house in a day, it was called מקום קרוב no matter how far away it was. However, see the יד שאול as well as the שדי חמד in חלק ו, אבילות, סעיף ס"ג who both say that the הלכה doesn’t change and it’s still ten פּרסאות even nowadays.
  2. The גמרא says that those who don’t follow the coffin to its burial outside the city should begin their אבילות as soon as they turn to go back at the city gates. There seems to be a מחלוקת ראשונים when this דין See the רמב"ןin תורת האדם עמוד קס"ב who says the הלכה only applies where the מת is buried in another city and people are travelling far to bury it. However, if the מת is buried just outside the city gates, then the relatives must wait to begin the אבילות until the מת is buried. The reason is that mourning begins after there is יאוש from the מת, and when the מת is nearby the relatives aren’t מיאש from him until after the burial. The רמב"ן brings the בה"ג who apparently disagrees since he says that if a מת is being buried on ערב יו"ט just outside the city by נכרים (since it is right before יו"ט), the relatives start אבילות immediately and then the יו"ט is מבטל שבעה. What is difficult is that the מחבר seems to pasken that they are both true. Theמחבר in שע"ה סעיף ב says that if the מת is buried in another city and some people are not going to the burial site, then they start שבעה immediately after departing (see the ש"ך there that makes that דיוק), yet he says in שצ"ט סעיף י"ד that if נכרים bury a מת just outside the city before יו"ט then the אבילות begins immediately. See the דגול מרבבה in סימן שצ"ה who asks this seeming open סתירה and suggests that perhaps the מחבר  held that even though the רמב"ן felt the בה"ג was arguing with him, in truth the בה"ג agrees with him.  ערב יו"ט is different in that people really are מיאש in that case even if they are nearby, since there is nothing more they can since its so close to יו"ט.
  3. The גמרא says that an אבל can’t cut his hair until his friends “yell” at him that he looks too unkempt to be in their presence. The רמ"אin סימן ש"ץ סעיף ד says that the amount of time for גערה is three months. There is an important תשובה in the  משה אגרות in יו"ד חלק ג סימן קנ"ו who explains the following: the reason חז"ל said “until his friends yell at him” is because everyone and every place is different and different people cut their hair at different intervals. Therefore, חז"ל said that when his friends “yell at him”, it must be that the time for him to take a haircut passed a long time ago. Rav Moshe is משער that the time חז"ל were looking for is double the amount of time one normally waits. So in the רמ"א’s town, people used to wait 4-6 weeks between haircuts (as they do here in America). Therefore, he said to wait three months. However, if you live in a place where people get haircuts every three weeks, then in six weeks one could cut their hair even if he had no friends who bothered to yell at him. However, the amount of time can never be less than thirty days as that is what every אבל needs to wait for all relatives, and parents will certainly not be less time than that.

Click here to download maarei m’komos by Rabbi Asher Millman (in PDF)