417. Brachos Upon Seeing a Long-Lost Friend

59:20 One who sees a dear friend after thirty days – or, even moreso, one who sees his father or his teacher – recites shehechiyanu. This is true even if they corresponded in the interim. (Some authorities say that one would not recite a bracha if he received messages in the interim; when it comes to brachos, we act leniently in a case of doubt, so we would not say a bracha in such circumstances – Mishnah Brurah 225:2.) If he sees him after twelve months, he recites “Mechayeh hameisim,” that G-d revives the dead. Psalms 31:13 tells us, “I have been forgotten from the heart like a dead person; I am like a lost utensil.” The reason for this simile is that after twelve months, a mourner ceases to grieve and a person gives up looking for a lost object. Therefore, after twelve months, one would no longer recite shehechiyanu but rather “Mechayeh hameisim.” (MB 225:4 says that each year on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, we are judged for life or death. If a year goes by without seeing a friend, the bracha “Mechayeh hameisim” is appropriate because we see that he did not receive a sentence of death.) If one received a letter or other news from the person during the year, he would recite shehechiyanu rather than Mechayeh hameisim. There is no difference in this matter when it comes to gender; a man would say the same bracha for his wife, mother, sister or daughter. Similarly, a woman would say it for her husband, father, brother or son.

59:21 If one became friends with another person through correspondence, he would not recite a bracha upon seeing him in person for the first time.