Staring at a Greedy Guest

We have a frequent guest that tends to help himself to a lot of food. Thankfully we’re not lacking, but I don’t think it’s right that he is so generous with himself. I sometimes catch myself staring at him, or rather at his portion. My wife tells me to avoid doing this. Is she right?

The Rambam states that one should not stare (his’takel) at a person when he is eating, or visually take stock of his portion, lest he be embarrassed. This is quoted in Shulchan Aruch (OC 170:4); the Aruch Hashulchan (ad loc., 7) understands that this is referring to staring at a guest.

Because conversation is a normal part of our meals in our days, you can obviously make eye contact with the person to whom you are speaking. However, you should certainly be careful not to make a person feel that his portion is too large.

The Gerald & Karin Feldhamer OU Kosher Halacha Yomis is dedicated to the memory of Rav Yisroel Belsky, zt"l, who served as halachic consultant for OU Kosher for more than 28 years; many of the responses in Halacha Yomis are based on the rulings of Rabbi Belsky. Subscribe to the Halacha Yomis daily email here.