Kiibud Av v'Eim in a Meal

I am sitting at the table with my mother. Should I wait for her to take from the main dish first, or am I permitted to serve myself, and then serve her?

Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 170:12) states that one must allow the greater person present to serve himself or herself first. This even applies when each individual has his or her own serving (e.g., a fruit dish served as an appetizer); you should wait for your mother to eat first, and only afterwards partake of the fruit yourself (Mishna Berurah, ad loc., 28). If the parent has made it clear that he or she does not mind, then it would be fine to take for yourself first.

The Gerald & Karin Feldhamer OU Kosher Halacha Yomis is dedicated to the memory of Rav Yisroel Belsky, zt"l, who served as halachic consultant for OU Kosher for more than 28 years; many of the responses in Halacha Yomis are based on the rulings of Rabbi Belsky. Subscribe to the Halacha Yomis daily email here.