Wedding Customs

Richard B. Aiken

Wedding Customs (Not Halachot)

 

Couple Separates for Seven Days

The couple does not see each other for seven days before the wedding. They may speak on the phone.

The Aufruf On the Shabbat before the wedding, the groom has an aufruf at which he receives an aliya.

What the Bride Buys The bride buys for the groom:

  • Talit and kittel,
  • Watch, and
  • Set of the Talmud.

She also pays for the wedding except for what the groom pays for (see below).

What the Groom Buys The custom is for the groom to pay for the band, photos, video, flowers, liquor, and wine.

NOTE: In Eretz Yisrael, it is customary for the bride and groom to split the wedding expenses.

Prenuptial Agreement A prenuptial agreement is permitted but it must state that the ketuba gets settled separately.

Groom to Mikva The groom goes to mikva on the wedding day.

Wedding Shomer The groom and bride each have a guardian (shomer/shomeret) with them from daybreak of the wedding day (some grooms have a shomer from the aufruf) until they are married.

Tanayim Tanayim are written before the main ceremony and two guests are honored as witnesses.  The tanayim are read out loud.

Accompanying the Bride and Groom There are various customs about who accompanies the bride and groom but none are halachically required.

Chuppa The chuppa should be under the open sky (via a skylight) or outdoors where practical.

Bride Circles Groom The bride walks seven times around the groom counterclockwise, as seen from above, and stands on the right side of the groom.

Baruch HaBa Someone sings baruch ha'ba... for the groom and brucha ha'ba'ah for the bride.

Drinking the Wine The mesader kidushin does not drink the cup of wine but the bride and groom normally do.

Wedding Ring It is not traditional for the bride to give a ring to the groom, and it is forbidden for the bride to give a ring to the groom at the chuppa.

Reading of the Ketuba After the blessings on the wine have been said and the wine has been drunk, the ketuba is read. This separates the two sets of blessings.

Second Cup of Wine The second cup of wine is given to the groom by the father of the bride and to the bride by the mother of the groom.

Copyright 2015 Richard B. Aiken. Halacha L’Maaseh appears courtesy of www.practicalhalacha.comVisit their website for more information.