1,452. Effecting Marriage Through an Agent

Hilchos Ishus 3:17

Anyone can serve as an agent to effect marriage except for a person with congenital deafness, a person lacking mental competence and a minor, because they cannot be relied upon, and a non-Jew, because he is not obligated by our covenant with God. This is inferred from Numbers 18:28: “So shall you set aside, also you...,” which is understood to include one’s agent. The Sages said that just as we are obligated in the covenant, our agents must likewise be obligated in the covenant, which excludes non-Jews. Therefore, one’s (Canaanite) servant, who can serve as an agent in financial matters, cannot serve as an agent in matters of marriage and divorce. This is because the halachos of marriage and divorce do not apply to him.

Hilchos Ishus 3:18

An agent who has been appointed by a man to effect marriage for him should tell the woman, “You are consecrated to (name of the man) through this money” or “through this document.” If a woman appointed an agent to accept kiddushin for her, the man should tell him, “(name of the woman), who appointed you, is consecrated to me,” to which the agent should reply, “I have consecrated her to you,” “betrothed her to you,” “given her to you as a wife,” or some other phrase denoting marriage. Similarly, if a man consecrates a girl through her father, he should tell him, “Your daughter (name of the girl) is consecrated to me,” to which the father should reply, “I have consecrated her to you.” If the father or agent simply replies yes – or even if he remains silent – marriage is nevertheless effected. If they were discussing marriage and the man gave the kiddushin to the girl’s father or to the woman’s agent without making any statement, marriage is still effected. When marriage is effected through a document, the man must have the document written with consent from the father or the agent. When it comes to effecting marriage, all the laws that apply to the man and the woman also apply to their agents and to the girl’s father.