1,446. Effecting Marriage Through Relations

Hilchos Ishus 3:5

Marriage can be effected through sexual intimacy as follows: the man says to the woman that she is consecrated to him, betrothed to him, becomes his wife – or some similar language of marriage – through the act of intimacy. He must be secluded with her in front of witnesses and engage in marital relations (the witnesses only see that the couple has been secluded together). When marriage is effected through sexual intimacy, the assumption is that the man intends to effect marriage upon the completion of the act. Therefore, when the act has been completed, the couple is married. Marriage is effected regardless of whether the couple engages in “regular” or “irregular” relations.

Hilchos Ishus 3:6

The statements that a man makes when effecting marriage must be of the nature that he is acquiring the woman as his wife, not that he is giving himself to her. Therefore, if he says or writes such things as “I am your husband,” “I am your betrothed,” “I am your man,” etc., then marriage is not effected. If he says or writes that she is his wife, his betrothed, she is acquired by him, she is his, etc., then marriage is effected.