Attitudinal Aversion

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Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein

           Parshat Toldot contains one of the seminal scenes that defines Bnei Yisroel and clarifies the differences between Yaakov  Avinu and his twin Esau. This scene is Esau selling his right as the firstborn to Yaakov Avinu for a bowl of red lentil soup. While Yaakov Avinu was cooking some lentil soup for his father, Esau came in famished and tired from a full day of hunting in the fields. Esau turns to Yaakov Avinu and says, “Pour into me some of that very red stuff, for I am exhausted.” Yaakov Avinu here makes a deal with Esau, a deal that some see as controversial, and asks Esau, “Sell me, as this day, your birthright to me.” In Esau’s mind, he is getting the better end of the deal. He replies, “Look, I am going to die, so of what use is the birthright?” After making the deal, Esau ate and drank, got up and left, and Esau spurned the birthright. If we examine the proceedings and the words of the Torah closely, we will understand that there was no deception on Yaakov Avinu’s part, and that all that transpired between them here was a complete reflection of what each brother valued and received.

           Rashi explains each of the verbs used in connection with Esau as a transgression of one of the major sins, adultery, murder, denial of God, denial of resurrection, and the final element that defined Esau, that he spurned the birthright and all that it represented. Why is this contempt/vayevez for the birthright seen as the defining factor of Esau’s evil rather than any of the other sins of the day, including murder, especially since some of our Sages say that Esau sold the birthright out of fear that he was incapable of performing the rituals correctly and would therefore earn the death penalty?

           Perhaps the simplest explanation comes from the Be’er Yosef. He says that it was not only Esau who scorned the birthright, but an entire entourage he brought with him that he encouraged to deride the birthright and Yaakov Avinu for valuing the birthright. This same derision of all that is holy and appropriate is also evidenced in Esau’s descendent Haman who scorned/vayevez the idea of harming only Mordechai for “disrespecting” him, and planned to destroy Mordechai’s entire people instead.

           At the core of bizayon/contempt/mockery is the unwillingness to draw a line between the holy and the profane, explains Rabbi Wachtfogel z”l. All creation is predicated on honor, for God created the world for His glory. While one may choose not to act for fear of acting disrespectfully and engendering consequences, contempt and mockery undermine the very foundation of creation and is an early step in the direction of evil. In this vein, contempt can be manifested from three different time perspectives, before, during and after.

           The contemptuous person approaches everything with the question of, “What’s in it for me?” More importantly, the question becomes, “What’s in it for me now?” Evil people don’t consider tomorrow. Rabbi Sternbach notes that Esau actually believed in Hashem, but he never contemplated the future. These people live only for today, writes Rabbi Ezrachi z”l citing the Ramban. At the sale, Esau was very happy with his deal. Only later, when his father was old and Esau realized he would not benefit from the firstborn’s inheritance did he regret his earlier decision. Further, Esau’s regret was not for all his actions, but only for “being deceived” into selling the birthright, much like Pharaoh who admitted to sinning only that one time to Hashem.

           Why was Esau also called Edom/Red? Rabbi Beyfus in Yalkut Lekach Tov notes that red is the color of passion and physical hunger. Although the food Yaakov Avinu served him at this time was indeed red lentils, this name was a representation of Esau’s character more than a description of the food. After all, Esau couldn’t control his physical hunger. (Psychologists today note that restaurants painted red increase their clients’ appetites.) Edom/Red represents Esau’s need for instant gratification and glitz over substance and the future.

           Unfortunately, continues Rabbi Beyfus, our generation faces similar challenges of being swayed by the momentary pleasures society is constantly bombarding us with, and we each have within ourselves the internal conflict between a Yaakov Avinu and an Esau side of our character.

           Approaching Esau’s selling the birthright from the motivation of the moment, one may ascribe Esau’s motivation to a realization of the difficulty in performing the work necessary for the sacrifices, writes Rabbi Ezrachi.   Esau felt it was not worth the effort, and in this way, he spurned it. Unfortunately, this too is often a malady of our generation. We’ve come to feel entitled to everything and are often unwilling to put in the necessary effort to earn what we and believe is important. In contrast, notes Rabbi Wolbe z”l, Yaakov  Avinu dedicated fourteen years of his life to studying in the Beit Medrash of Shem and Ever before embarking on marriage. If we are to incorporate the beauty and sanctity of Shabbos into our beings, for example, we must invest in preparing our homes and ourselves to receive and be surrounded by the special energy of the Sabbath environment.

           Is it worth investing in the future, in the permanence of olam haba? Rabbi Scheinerman in Ohel Moshe gives us a wonderful analogy. Someone going to a concert or a sporting event would make every effort to get the best seat possible, up front and closest to the action. Yet, how much effort do we put into our spiritual lives so that we can earn a front row seat in Gan Eden, closest to the aura of Hakodosh Boruch Hu, or are we satisfied with just entering the arena and sitting in the bleachers. How many of us sometimes are jealous of the gentiles for their easier life? They can grab a bite to eat anywhere, for example. Does your bucket list consist totally of worldly pleasures, or does it include activities that will help you grow spiritually?

           Perhaps most important is how we react after an experience. Do we retain the effects of the Yom Kippur service after that final shofar blast, or do we go back to our daily routines without a second thought about the sanctity of the day we had immersed ourselves in for the last twenty-five hours? A kohain gadol who emerges from the Holy of Holies at the close of Yom Kippur and can spurn great Torah Sages like Shmaya and Avtalyon because they were descendants of converts is on a much lower spiritual level than Yosef Meshicha who entered the Holy of Holies at the command of the Romans and removed a holy vessel. But, having been in that sacred place for just a few moments, he refused to enter again to desecrate it, even on pain of death.

           Perhaps Esau was indeed overwhelmed with exhaustion and hunger from his very full day, but, writes Rabbi Wachtfogel z”l, after he ate and drank, he showed no remorse for his actions and for the sale he had agreed to. In fact, in this state of satiation and calm, he mocked the birthright. When later he cries out to his father, he cries for what he lost, not for what he had done. As Rabbi Zeitchick z”l in Ohr Chodosh points out, when someone acts in a way that is out of character, he may cover up his sense of guilt and discomfort by momentarily affecting arrogance. But this arrogance soon dissipates. Not so with Esau who continued his mocking and arrogant behavior well after his discomfort for doing those evil deeds of the day.

           Rabbi Frand gives us a wonderful analogy: “Guilt is to the soul what pain is to the body.” Esau never felt guilty, and therefore never saw any need to heal his soul. His mockery of the birthright reinforced his sense of self and negated any sense of remorse.

           In Heorat Derech, Rabbi Weissblum paints for us a picture related in the Talmud Yerushalmi. In the future, Esau will be sitting among the righteous in Gan Eden, and Hashem will come to drag him out. Rabbi Weissblum raises three questions. First, why does Esau think he has a right to be there? Then, why can’t the truly righteous people get him out? Finally, why does Hashem Himself have to drag him out, as Esau was screaming, “But I belong here?”

           Esau truly believed himself to be righteous, that he served Hashem out of fear by refusing the birthright. But the Torah itself testifies that he made a mockery of service to Hashem. In fact, there were sparks of holiness within Esau, but like a hunter who may have the game in his mouth/tzayid befiv but doesn’t swallow it, Esau never digests the holy sparks that were within him.

           Contrast this, continues Rabbi Weissblum, with Yaakov  Avinu who was an ish tam/complete, integrated man, whose mouth and heart were merged. The righteous in Gan Eden could not recognize the disconnect between heart, mind and action that Esau represented. Externally, wrapped in a tallit, he indeed looked like any other righteous man, and he himself considered himself righteous. Only Hashem could discern the difference between Esau’s appearance and his true character, Therefore, only Hashem could drag him out of Gan Eden. And therefore also, Esau’s righteous mind/head was buried in Meorat Hamachpelah while the rest of his body and his heart were not.

           If one is really to honor the Torah, one must consider it more that just another field of knowledge, writes Rabbi Schorr in Halekach Vehalebuv. He must move it into his heart as well. Otherwise, continues Rabbi Schorr, “...The unfortunate man’s wisdom is bezuyah/despised, and his words are not heard.” (Kohelet 9:16) He is seen for what he is, a hypocrite who does not act according to the wisdom and knowledge he preaches.

           Esau fooled himself with his own distortions of truth. Rabbi Eisenberger in Mesillot Bilvovom cites the Chasam Sofer z”l and brings some interesting examples of this deception. Esau prided himself on a stringency he accepted for himself, he would never take anything for free. Coming home from the field, he was famished. When he saw the food his brother had prepared, he told Yaakov Avinu that he didn’t want it for free, but he had nothing to give in exchange. Yaakov Avinu solved the problem by suggesting that Esau give him the birthright in exchange for the food and he would not violate his stringency. Esau finds this a wonderful solution and considers himself so righteous in not violating his stringency. He would not recognize the irony in making the stringency more important than the principal. This distortion for self -deception is at the heart of mockery.

           We may also be sacrificing the principal for the outer trappings, continues Rabbi Eisenberger. Is the essence of our Shabbat the good food and the afternoon nap, or are these the medium to create an atmosphere to come closer to Hashem? When we fool ourselves, we exhibit the Esau character of separating our minds from our hearts. May Hashem grant us the strength and wisdom to live integrated, whole, spiritually fulfilling lives so that we merit, after 120 years, sitting in Gan Eden among the righteous of our nation.