Avowing Allegiance
Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
Parshat Chayei Sarah is the first recording in the Torah of a match made through a middleman, a shadchan. Eliezer, Avraham Avinu’s trusted servant, is entrusted with the mission of going to Charan and finding there a wife for Yitzchak, Avraham’s son. The Torah repeatedly inform us of Eliezer’s trustworthiness, that Avraham entrusted him with all he owned and with running the entire household. The Torah seems to emphasize that in spite of this, Avraham still demanded that Eliezer swear to be true to this mission. How do we reconcile these two seemingly contradictory ideas? Why did Avraham feel the need to extract an oath from his faithful servant? Why did Eliezer himself need to swear?
Rabbi Mordechai Miller, using various sources, tells us that both Avraham Avinu and Eliezer had full control over their Yetzer/negative impulses. Yet there was a difference between the two. The Mesillat Yesharim explains that while Eliezer was scrupulous in his actions, this was a result of extreme caution, an external trait. Avraham Avinu, on the other hand, was pure both internally and externally. The difference can manifest itself when one is faced with a challenging situation in which one could easily justify an action which on an absolute level may still be questionable. Avraham’s actions were pure through and through, never presenting him with other possibilities. That’s why he muzzled his sheep while in land promised to him while Lot’s shepherds reasoned their sheep could graze on the land since eventually the land would belong to Lot, Avraham’s heir. Avraham Avinu wanted to remain always above any suspicion, any appearance of impropriety. Eliezer, although scrupulous, still retained some inner desires of his own that were incompatible with the mission.
One can add an additional aspect to the care necessary for this inner purity. Avraham, after the battle against the four kings, vowed not to take even a shoelace or a thread from the spoils. Certainly if he was this concerned with a taint that might be attached to material gain, should he not be even more concerned when his entire spiritual legacy would be at stake? He took an oath then; should he not take an oath now as well? Rabbi Frand notes that for many of us, these priorities are reversed. We may take at face value a sign in a window that the eatery we are about to enter is Kosher. Do we check the certificate carefully? (Many years ago in Israel I saw an expired kosher certificate on display. The date was not prominent. When a member of our group asked for a current certificate, the owner of the establishment could not supply one. CKS) Yet, most people, writes Rabbi Sorotskin, professional businessmen and private individuals, will fully check up on anyone they entrust money to.
We are careful with our financial progress and growth, but may take minimal time to check our children’s educational and spiritual progress, often leaving our children’s upbringing completely to their teachers or even to a stranger. If something is important to us personally, we make it a big deal. Where are our priorities? Rabbi Coopersmith relates that a man was once asked if he would lend his BMW to his housekeeper. Of course he wouldn’t, yet he entrusted his children to her. Avraham Avinu had his priorities straight.
Let us now turn to Eliezer and explore what effect taking an oath could have on him. After all, we ourselves often act as agents on another’s behalf.
Eliezer was so honest and trustworthy, writes Rabbi Weissman in Siach Mordechai, that he is counted s one of the ten people who entered Gan Eden alive. Yet even he could unwittingly be swayed by personal desires. This possibility was alluded to when Eliezer asked “Uli/Perhaps she will not want to go with me.” Uli hints at a hoped for possibility while a similar word, pen/lest, hints at a feared outcome. Perhaps without even realizing it, Eliezer hoped to fail in his mission so that his own daughter might marry Yitzchak.
Rabbi Kofman in Mishchat Shemen reminds us that Avraham Avinu ruled over all that belonged to him. This included not only material wealth, but also his emotions. He taught Eliezer to nullify his own will to the will of Hashem. While anyone, when one is confronted by an unexpected challenge or disappointment, may react negatively in the first moments, one nevertheless has the ability to control and erase that original emotion, distance one’s self and become objective. This, writes Rabbi Kofman, was what Yosef did when he saw his brothers in Egypt. “Vayisnaker/He made himself [appear as] a stranger to them.” Yosef took his ego and personal pain out of the picture, as if he did not know them, and worked on finding the best way to get his brothers to do teshuvah.
Eliezer needed to swear so that he would remove any personal agenda that might cloud his mission. This mission was about Avraham and Yitzchak, not about himself and his hopes. Similarly, when we do a chesed for someone else, the other should become the focus. It should be irrelevant whether or not we get acknowledged or appreciated. Are we doing and giving what they need? This is indeed difficult level to achieve, but it can be done. Rabbi Aryeh Levin nullified himself to help not only for the prisoners who fought to establish the State of Israel, but also for a little orphan boy whom he would bring to school every morning by giving him a piggy back ride. Check your motivation when doing chesed. Be aware whether your motivations are positive or negative, urges Rabbi Yechazkail Levenstein. Check your motivations regularly.
Rabbi Kofman presents an interesting metaphor. In our prayers we say, “Zoreyah tzedakot matzmiach yeshuot/He who plants tzedakot [acts of chesed] causes salvation to grow.” In order for a seed to grow and blossom, it must be planted in the lowly earth. Similarly, writes Rabbi Kofman, in order for acts of chesed to achieve their full potential, the doer must negate his own ego, consider himself afar va’efer/dust and ashes, and then he can plant the seeds of salvation and bounty. He must keep the needs of the receiver as his motivation. Understanding and acknowledging one’s true motivation is the first step in succeeding.
We all know that no matter how great our initial desire to succeed in a given task, after some time, we may grow tired and stop expending the necessary energy to compete the task. In this there is a difference between volunteering and obligating oneself to do something. By taking an oath, Eliezer was obligating himself to complete his mission in spite of difficulties or personal desires that might arise. That’s why throughout this mission, writes Rabbi Birnbaum, Eliezer is always called eved Avraham/Abraham’s servant rather than by his name. He had taken an oath, and his entire being was invested in completing the mission his master had tasked him with.
In the liturgical poem often sung at the third Shabbat meal, we ask, “Our Compassionate Father, draw Your servant to Your will.” Rabbi Schwadron interprets that when we truly become Hashem’s servants and ask for His help in drawing us closer to His will, then He will truly become our Compassionate Father.
The Gemarrah tells us that before a child is born, an angel makes him take an oath to always be a tzadik and not a rasha/evil one. Taking an oath seals the deal of agency into an unbreakable bond, just as later Yaakov Avinu made Yosef swear to take him back to Canaan and bury him with his fathers in the Cave of Machpelah. Each of us is on our own mission from Hakodosh Boruch Hu, and every detail of our lives, from our talents to our challenges, from the time and the family into which we were born, are all there to help us fulfill our mission. Even if we do not realize or acknowledge this truth, our soul knows it is so.
In the Medrash Eliezer is called the wise servant. What made him wise? That he recognized his own place in the world. Eliezer knew that as a descendent of Ham, he was destined to be a servant. He could have been a servant to anyone, but Hashem placed him as a servant to Avraham Avinu. For this he was grateful, and worked on being the best servant to Avraham that he could be, writes Rabbi Gedaliah Schorr. In a similar vein, continues Rabbi Schorr citing the Sefas Emes, we are all servant of Hashem, and Hashem has placed each of us in our unique situations to complete our unique missions at any given time, whether it’s caring for a child or for an elderly parent, uplifting the morale of others, or teaching Torah. Wherever we are, we should feel joy, knowing that Hashem has confidence in me and will help me be successful, even when He puts challenges in my path.
It is in this vein that of all the morning blessings, only one is both in the singular and in the past tense rather than in the present, writes Rabbi Brazile in Bishvili Nivra Haolam, “She’asah li kol tzorki/Who has provided me my every need.” In this blessing, we thank Hashem both for what we have and for what we lack, for all the circumstances were prepared for me before my birth. Especially in the darkest of times can we come closer to Hashem and find Him, as we struggle to see the light, for Moshe Rabbenu himself had to enter into the darkest darkness to encounter Hashem.
People are continually tempted to say they could be happy, or successful, or…, “If only...” We acknowledge that Hashem has provided for all my needs, that my challenges should also bring me joy, for without them, I would not be who I am, and I would not be able to be a true servant of Hashem.
Just as Eliezer achieved value by being the faithful servant of Avraham, so do each of us achieve value by realizing our potential as servants of Hashem, by being the vessels that will bring His light to the world. Rabbi Kluger presents this idea in One. He writes that a wine decanter, for example, gets its identity through its purpose – we don’t call it a decanter in its own right that we will use for wine, but a wine decanter – so do each of us merit our unique identity through being an eved Hashem, fulfilling our mission as Hashem’s servants. And we credit Him for the vision and design, and for giving us the tools to accomplish our mission. He has provided us with all that we need.
Eliezer, the true and loyal servant of Avraham Avinu, serves as an excellent role model for all of us in how to perceive ourselves, our purpose on this earth, and how to approach the challenges we may face. Let us use the Alter’s maxim, “I never ask if I am capable of doing it; I ask if it is necessary to be done.” Wen we have this attitude toward life, Hashem will help us succeed in being His true servants and He will continue to treat us as a loving, merciful Father.