Careful How We Judge Others
And Yehudah approached him and he said: Please, my master, allow, now, for your servant to speak in my master’s ears and do not be angry with your servant – for you are alike to Paroh. (Sefer Beresheit 44:18)
Binyamin’s peril and Yehudah’s intervention
In Parshat VaYigash the Torah concludes the narrative it began at the end of the previous parasha. Yosef sent his brothers back to Cana’an with provisions. However, he directed that his goblet be covertly placed in Binyamin’s bags. He sent forth emissaries to overtake the brothers and search their belongings for the missing goblet. It was found in Binyamin’s bags. As the consequence for stealing Yosef’s goblet, Binyamin was taken as a slave. His brothers were absolved of any responsibility for the crime and permitted to return to Cana’an.
The brothers did not abandon Binyamin. They returned with him to Yosef. Our parasha opens with Yehudah’s appeal to Yosef to spare Binyamin. He implores Yosef to allow Binyamin to return to their father Yaakov. Yehudah asks that he be permitted to remain in Egypt as a slave in place of his brother. Before we consider Yehudah’s appeal and its significance, let us consider two questions related to previous Torah sections.
The brothers’ sell Yosef
In Parshat VaYeshev, the brothers conspired to rid themselves of Yosef. They decided to sell him to a band of merchants traveling to Egypt. They understood that they were condemning him to live out his life as a slave. Why were the brothers not concerned that somehow Yosef would overcome his circumstances and regain his freedom?
A comment of Ramban – Nachmanides – is relevant to appreciating this question. In our parasha, Yosef reveals himself to his brothers. He communicates to his father that he is alive and that he is Paroh’s prime minister. He asks his father to join him in Egypt. Yaakov and his family travel to Egypt, resettle there, and are reunited with Yosef. Ramban notes that the brothers never revealed to their father their role in Yosef’s disappearance. Neither did Yosef expose his brothers. Yaakov assumed that Yosef had been abducted by strangers and sold into slavery.
Ramban explains that the brothers believed that if Yaakov became aware of their turpitude, he would never forgive them. In place of the blessings he bestowed upon them at the end of his life, Yaakov would have cursed them.[1]
It is clear from Ramban’s observation that the brothers were deeply concerned that Yaakov never become aware of their role in Yosef’s disappearance. Why were they not worried that Yosef might find some means of communicating with his father and exposing them?
Binyamin’s disagreement with his brothers
The brothers were not completely unified in their perspective on Yosef. Reuven opposed acting against Yosef. Yehudah, also had misgivings. These behaviors do not indicate that Reuven and Yehudah disagreed with their brothers’ assessment of Yosef. They only opposed the measures favored by their brothers to redress their issues with Yosef. However, Binyamin disputed his brothers’ assessment of Yosef. Binyamin’s viewpoint is developed in a comment of Rashi.
And Yosef hastened, for his mercy was stirred toward his brother, and he wanted to weep. So, he went into the room and wept there. (Sefer Beresheit 43:30)
The above passage is from Parshat Meketz. The brothers returned to Egypt with Binyamin. Yosef invited them to join him for a meal. Suddenly, Yosef is overwhelmed by intense feelings. He retreats from the room and, in privacy, cries. What occurred to evoke Yosef’s reaction?
Rashi quotes the Sages of the Talmud. They explain that Yosef was responding to a conversation with Binyamin. He asked Binyamin whether he had a brother from his mother. Binyamin responded that he had a brother but that he had disappeared. Then, Yosef asked him whether he had sons? Binyamin confirmed that he had sons and shared their unusual names. Yosef, inquired as to the meaning of these names. Binyamin explained each:
All of them are connected to my brother and the troubles that befell him. [My first son was named] Bela because he (my brother) was swallowed up (נִבְלַע) among the nations. [My second son was named] Becher because he (my brother) was the firstborn (בְּכוֹר) of my mother. [My third son was named] Ashbel because the L-rd put him (my brother) into captivity (שְׁבָאו ֹאֵל). [My fourth son was named] Gera because he (my brother) was a stranger (נִתְגַּיֵר) in a lodging place. And [my fifth son was named] Na’aman because he (my brother) was very pleasant (נָעִים). [My sixth and seventh sons were named] Ehi and Rosh because he was my brother (אָחִי), and he was my superior (רֹאשִׁי). [My eighth son was named] Muppim because he (my brother) learned from the mouth of (מִפִּי) my father. [My ninth son was named] Huppim because he (my brother) did not see my wedding (חוּפָּתִי), neither did I see his wedding (חוּפָּתוֹ). And [my tenth son was named] Ard because he (my brother) descended (יָרַד) among the nations.[2]
These names reflect how different Binyamin’s perspective was from that of his brothers. One might conclude that Binyamin was biased; he viewed Yosef more favorably because they were full brothers – sharing the same father and mother. A closer study of these names reveals that although his fraternal relationship with Yosef may have played a role, his assessment reflects insight into Yosef’s true personality and powers.
Binyamin referred to Yosef as his brother and as his leader. He discerned in Yosef leadership qualities that his brothers would not acknowledge. Moreover, he accepted Yosef as both his leader and brother. This is a challenging relationship. Most of us struggle to accept a peer as our leader. We contest the right of a peer to assert authority over us. Binyamin loved Yosef as a brother; and he perceived and appreciated his leadership ability.
Binyamin described Yosef as the student of his father. Binyamin and his brothers were also students of Yaakov. What distinction is Binyamin acknowledging? Apparently, he means that Yosef was the greatest of his father’s students. Again, it is not easy for one student to acknowledge the superiority of a fellow student; yet, Binyamin recognized that Yosef was unequaled in his understanding of the wisdom imparted by Yaakov. In short, Binyamin’s perspective on Yosef was very different from the assessment of his brothers. What prevented the brothers from seeing in Yosef the qualities discerned by Binyamin?
And now go forth and let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits. And we will say a wild animal consumed him. We will see what will be of his dreams! (Sefer Beresheit 36:20)
The plan to destroy Yosef
Let us return to our first question. Why were the brothers not concerned that Yosef would reemerge and reveal their actions to their father? In the above passage, the brothers contemplate killing Yosef. They mockingly declare that this will be the end of his dreams of greatness. Rav Yisroel Chait explained that this passage provides insight into the brothers’ assessment of Yosef. Yosef had dreams of greatness. He pridefully retold these dreams to his brothers and father. The brothers interpreted this as pure arrogance. They mock this arrogance in the above passage. Because of this interpretation, the brothers believed that by selling him into slavery they would permanently rid themselves of him.
An arrogant person needs others over whom he can lord and to whom he can boast of his greatness. Deprived of his audience, he cannot function and is emotionally devastated. The brothers were confident that once sold into slavery and living within the lowest stratum of society, Yosef would be emotionally shattered. He would not be able to function. He certainly would not be able to develop and implement a strategy to regain his freedom. Because of this assessment, they did not fear Yosef resurfacing and revealing their role in his disappearance.[3]
Binyamin saw beyond Yosef’s arrogant behaviors. He recognized that beneath the superficial flaws lay a person of immense power and wisdom. The fundamental difference between Binyamin and his brothers was in what they assessed. The brothers’ focused upon superficial aspects of Yosef’s behavior. Binyamin looked beyond these behaviors and penetrated deeper into Yosef’s soul. He discovered a giant.
And your servant our father said to us: You know that my wife birthed for me two sons. And one went forth from me and I concluded he has been torn apart and I have not seen him to this time. (Sefer Beresheit 44:27-8)
Yaakov’s attitude toward his wives
This does not completely resolve our question. Why were the brothers unable to see beyond the superficial? What prevented them from discerning Yosef’s deeper personality? The above passage provides an insight.
Yehudah appeals to Yosef to take him as a slave in place of Binyamin. He recounts his conversation with Yaakov. He and his brothers explained to Yaakov that Paroh’s minister had refused to provide them with more food unless they come back with Binyamin. They appealed to Yaakov to allow Binyamin to accompany them. Yaakov responded that his wife gave birth to only two sons. One was lost. He cannot bear the risk of losing the second.
Rachel was one of four wives. Yet, Yaakov refers to her as his sole wife. Ramban remarks that indeed Yaakov regarded Rachel as his only true wife. He did not wed his other wives by choice. Leyah became his wife through duplicity. He wed his other wives in response to the insistence of Rachel and Leyah. He regarded Leyah, Bilhah and Zilpah more as concubines than as wives.[4]
Imagine the resentment a son of Leyah would feel in response to this dismissal of his mother! Yehudah overcame this bitterness. He did not rework his father’s words to eliminate the stigma of being the son of a concubine. He frankly recounted Yaakov’s words and pleaded with Yosef to act with compassion and not deprive Yaakov of his only surviving son from his true wife. Yosef recognized, in this frankness, that Yehudah had overcome his resentment. Yosef responded by revealing himself.
Dynamics in Yaakov’s family
Now, we can appreciate the dynamic that drove the brothers’ perception of Yosef. The conflict between them was the continuation of the rivalry between Rachel and Leyah. Leyah strove to displace Rachel as Yaakov’s true wife. Her sons waged a similar battle with Yosef – the son of Rachel. This does not mean that the brothers acted against Yosef because he was Rachel’s son. But their status as sons of secondary wives interfered with their capacity to see beyond Yosef’s superficial traits.
Binyamin was not caught up in this conflict. He and Yosef were both sons of Rachel. Because he was not influenced by his brothers’ struggle with Yosef, he was able to perceive in Yosef deeper levels of personality and even his greatness.
Judging others
The experience of the brothers is an important lesson for us. Ten brothers, who were all great people, completely erred in their assessment of Yosef. They were not imagining an arrogance that did not exist. They simply were unable to look beyond the superficial. It is very difficult to see beyond the outward behaviors and attitudes of a person and grasp that person’s true and fundamental being. It requires accepting that there is more to a person than the easily observed superficial behaviors. It requires the effort to search for and discover the true person that lay under the surface. Conducting this assessment requires objectivity and honesty. It is not easy to judge another and that should make us wonder how often our assessments are accurate. Maybe, it’s best to reserve judgment.
[1] Rabbaynu Moshe ben Nachman (Ramban / Nachmanides), Commentary on Sefer Beresheit 46:27.
[2] Rabbaynu Shlomo ben Yitzchak (Rashi), Commentary on Sefer Beresheit 43:30.
[3] Rav Yisroel Chait, VaYigash, The Names of Binyamin’s sons, TTL C-072.
[4] Rabbaynu Moshe ben Nachman (Ramban / Nachmanides), Commentary on Sefer Beresheit 44:27.