Mi Sheberach

The "mi sheberach" prayer which is customarily recited at the Torah on behalf of one who is ill is actually an ancient formula. This mi sheberach is unique because in most other prayers where a person's name is mentioned, it is usually the person's father's name which is used. In the mi sheberach for those who are ill, however, the formula calls for the name of the individual followed by that person's mother's name.

The source for using an individual's mother's name when praying for one who is ill derives from a number of sources.[1] We find numerous examples throughout scripture where one is referenced to their mother when discussing matters related to spiritual mercy or Divine intervention.[2] We find this idea in the Talmud as well, along with Rashi who notes that when praying for health we are to mention the individual's name followed by their mother's name.[3] Additionally, the Zohar teaches that one is advised to mention an individual's mother's name in a mi sheberach, as it is conducive for seeking mercy.[4]

When dealing with matters pertaining to the soul, however, such as when reciting names as part of the "el maleh rachamim" memorial prayers, one is to use the father's name.[5] It is interesting to note that there have been communities where this order has been reversed, using the father's name for mi sheberachs when ill, though most communities do not follow this view.[6] It is explained that the reason a person is called to the Torah using his father's name is in order that there be no confusion as to who a person's father is, in the event that a "get" may need to be written for him in the future.[7] In order for a get to be valid, it is essential that the name of one's father appears on the get exactly as it is known to the community.

It is interesting to note that when we pray on behalf of the sick, we ask God for "healing of the soul and healing of the body". However, it is seemingly out of place to invoke the soul at a time when it is one's health and one's body that are in need of Divine mercy. Nevertheless, it is actually imperative that we mention the soul when reciting prayers for the sick, as we are taught that a person only recovers from an illness when his sins have been forgiven. Therefore, when praying for the health of a person's body we are also essentially beseeching God to forgive any sins that the person might have committed which are impeding his recovery. When a person's sins are forgiven both his soul and body are healed, as well.[8]

There are a number of reasons offered for the distinction between the use of the mother's name when dealing with issues of health and the father's name when dealing with matters of the soul. Some suggest that it is due to the mi sheberach often being used as a form of "pikuach nefesh", a last resort life-saving attempt. It is taught that one's physical sustenance, as well as matters in need of Divine mercy, are obtained in the merit of one's mother.[9] It is also noted that there is always more certainty as to who a person's mother is than who the father is.[10]

Furthermore, it is believed that invoking the name of one's mother offers a number of spiritual advantages, as well. It is generally assumed that women have fewer sins on their record than most men, which can serve advantageously for the benefit of the sick individual.[11] It is also taught that biologically, the material which makes up the body is contributed by the mother thereby making it wholly appropriate to invoke the mother's name when seeking healing for the body.[12] In some communities there was a custom to mention both the name of the mother and father in all prayers where names are inserted.[13] In fact, one can even choose which name - the mother's or the father's - one wishes to use.[14]

Although using the mother's name is ideal when praying for someone's physical welfare, it is not vital if that information is unavailable. In such a case, one can use the name of the father or even the individual's secular name without even mentioning a parent.[15]In the worst case scenario, no name is truly needed and one should merely have in mind the individual one is praying for.[16] When reciting a mi sheberach for an ill fetus, it is sufficient to use the mother's name, though some authorities suggest that the fetus be specifically mentioned.[17] It is interesting to note that a person whose original Hebrew name has been forgotten or otherwise fallen into disuse, may use any name or nickname that he is known by and this is true for all religious matters.[18]

When praying in the presence of a sick individual, there is no need to mention their name.[19] Some authorities suggest that one should never describe a person as "sick", even when praying for them.[20] Indeed, there were a number of sages who were known to refrain from ever referring to someone as "ill". Even when they would recite a mi sheberach they would merely mention the name of the person, without the introductory word, "hacholeh".[21] Other sages were known not to refer to people as "sick" but rather as "not healthy". We are taught that changing the name of a person who is seriously ill can assist in their recovery.[22]

[1] Panim Yafot, Behalotcha, cited in Piskei Teshuvot 116:2

[2] Tehillim 86:16

[3] Rashi, Shabbat 66b, also in Berachot 55b according to the Ein Yaakov version

[4] Zohar Lech Lecha 84a, cited in Minhag Yisrael Torah O.C. 119:1

[5] Panim Yafot Behalotcha, cited in Minhag Yisrael Torah O.C. 119:1

[6] Minhag Yisrael Torah O.C. 119:1

[7] Otzar Minhagei Yeshurun 95

[8] Nedarim 31a, Shu"t Haravaz 1:61

[9] Minhag Yisrael Torah O.C. 119:1

[10] Yabia Omer 2:11, Taamei Haminhagim 15

[11] Torah Lishma 399

[12] Minhag Yisrael Torah O.C. 119:1

[13] Yabia Omer 2:11

[14] Aruch Hashulchan O.C 119:1

[15] Yabia Omer 2:11

[16] Berachot 34a

[17] Torat Hayoledet 10:10

[18] Halichot Shlomo 8:13

[19] Shulchan Aruch Harav O.C. 119:3

[20] Piskei Teshuvot 116:2

[21] Darkei Chaim V'shalom 220

[22] Sefer Chassidim 245