Don't Strike the Rock
Very early in my professional training as a psychologist, I learned about a phenomenon known as "the power of positive expectations." This power was well known even to the ancients, who recognized that if you expect positive behavior from another person, you are likely to be rewarded by positive behavior from that person. On the other hand, if you expect negative behavior from him, you should not be surprised if that's what you get back.
This principle was the core of the pedagogical approach of a very remarkable individual, Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapiro, a Hasidic master known as the Rebbe of Piaseczna (the small Polish town in which he lived). Rabbi Shapiro, a victim of the Holocaust, is best known today for the courageous sermons he delivered under the horrible conditions of the Warsaw Ghetto. Those sermons were miraculously recovered in the rubble of the Warsaw ghetto sometime after the Holocaust and were eventually published under the title Aish Kodesh, "A Sacred Fire."
Many people remain unfamiliar with the accomplishments of this great man in his early life, prior to the Holocaust. He had a school for young men and developed a remarkably progressive approach to education.
The cornerstone of his approach was the manner in which he dealt with the students individually. At the beginning of every school term, he met with each student privately and conveyed his expectations to him. He would say, for example, "I have observed you and read the recommendations which your previous teachers sent to me. They think highly of you, and from what I have seen, you are capable of great accomplishments in our school. You are obviously quite bright, you are serious about your studies, and you have already mastered some of what we have to teach you."
With statements such as this, he was able to inform the student of the positive expectations he had of him. Every student emerged from the sessions highly motivated and dedicated to his studies. Rabbi Shapiro's students demonstrated the power of positive expectations in their academic achievements.
Truth to tell, it was not out of his own creative genius that Rabbi Shapiro discovered the secret of the power of positive expectations. He attributed his discovery to the writings of earlier rabbinic figures, such as 16th century rabbi, Rabbi Isaiah Horowitz, also known as the Shelah.
The Shelah, in turn, based his knowledge of the power of positive expectations upon several verses in the biblical book of Proverbs, which read:
"Do not rebuke a scoffer, for he will hate you; "Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. "Instruct a wise man, and he will grow wiser; "Teach a righteous man, and he will gain in learning." (Proverbs 9: 8-9)
The Shelah proposed a unique interpretation of these verses. He suggested that the text be understood as follows:
"Do not rebuke a person by calling him 'scoffer,' for that will result in him hating you. "Reprove him instead by calling him 'wise man', for that will make him love you. "Instruct each pupil by referring to him as 'a wise man,' and he will grow wiser. "Teach your pupil that he is 'a righteous man,' and he will gain in learning.
The Shelah thus advocated referring to each pupil in terms which convey positive expectations: wise man, righteous man. Then, he believed, that pupil would grow wiser and gain in learning. He advised his followers: Avoid calling your pupil a scoffer or a fool or a dunce, for by doing so, you will convey negative expectations. The only behavior you could expect back of that pupil would be resentment and hatred.
One might wonder what these remarks about the power of positive expectations have to do with this week's Torah portion, Chukat (Numbers 19:1-22:1). The answer lies in a puzzling and almost cryptic episode in this Torah portion. There we read:
"The Israelites arrived… at the wilderness of Zin... The community was without water... The people quarreled with Moses… 'Why did you make us leave Egypt to bring us to this wretched place… There is not even water to drink!'…
"Moses and Aaron… fell on their faces… And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 'take the rod and assemble the community, and before their very eyes order the rock to yield its water. Thus you shall produce water for them from the rock…'
"Moses took the rod… and assembled the congregation… Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod. Out came copious water…" (Numbers 20:1-11)
The Lord is, to say the least, disappointed in Moses. He delivers the following shocking message to him: "Because you did not trust Me enough to affirm My sanctity in the sight of the Israelite people, therefore, you shall not lead this congregation into the land that I have given them." (Numbers 20:12).
What was Moses' terrible misdeed? Numerous suggestions have been advanced by commentators over the centuries. But the one which is familiar to many students of the parsha is the one advanced by Rashi. Moses was told to "order the rock to yield its water." He was to speak to the rock. Instead, he "raised his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod." He was told to speak to the rock, but he disobeyed the Lord and struck it instead.
One cannot help but wonder what difference it makes to the Almighty whether Moses speaks to the rock or strikes it. After all, either way, it is a miracle for water to flow out of a rock in the midst of the desert wilderness.
I recently discovered a fascinating approach to this problem. It is consistent with the lesson about the power of positive expectations with which we began this week's column. This interpretation appears in a collection of essays on the weekly Torah portions, entitled Mai Marom, "Waters From On High." The author, Rabbi Yaakov Moshe Charlap, was a revered spiritual figure in Jerusalem during the first half of the 20th century.
Rabbi Charlap maintains that by asking Moses to speak to the rock, the Almighty provided him with a metaphor relating to another person. Speaking to the rock is analogous to speaking to another person gently and respectfully, with positive expectations. When he struck the rock, Moses substituted a different metaphor, one which signaled a harsh pessimism. Striking the rock is an analogy for negative expectations.
Rabbi Charlap further proposes that by urging Moses to speak to the rock, the Almighty was encouraging him to realize the potential of the Israelites. He was trying to impress upon him that they were capable of putting their pettiness behind them and could move forward into an improved future. By striking the rock, Moses refused to acknowledge the capacity of the Israelites to achieve that better future. He felt that they were condemned to remain imprisoned in their past.
Moses' failure to be optimistic about his people's ability to advance into a new future was his fatal flaw. It was this pessimism that denied him the privilege of leading his people into the Promised Land.
Rabbi Charlap's interpretation allows us to more fully understand the power of positive expectations. Positive expectations of another person orient him toward the future and its possibilities. Negative expectations of the other compel him to remain static, if not regress to an even earlier past.
A wise man of another faith, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, said it well: "Treat the other person as he is, and he will remain whom he is. But treat him as he ought to be and could be, and he will become what he ought to be and could be."