Complaints or Contentment
Naaleh.comSummary by Channie Koplowitz Stein
Bnei Yisroel were poised to enter Eretz Yisroel. Suddenly, "They became as complainers. It was evil in the ears of Hashem... His wrath flared, and a fire of Hashem burned against them and it consumed at the edges (alternately, at the elders) of the camp... The rabble that was among them cultivated a craving, and Bnei Yisroel also wept once more..." They were tired of a diet of manna and wanted real food like they ate in Egypt, fish and meat, onions and cucumbers. Were these legitimate complaints, or were they merely excuses for their real discontent?
Our major commentators all pick up on the strange terminology. Why are the people described as becoming "as complainers" instead of simply being complainers? Further, who initiated the complaints, the erev rav/mixed multitude, or the elders? Finally, why were they punished so immediately?
According to Rashi, the people were looking for a pretext to distance themselves from Hashem. Hashem got angry because they willfully misinterpreted what He had done for them. Hashem's motivation was always for the good of Bnei Yisroel, whether it was to speed their arrival into Eretz Yisroel by consolidating the journey, or by giving them the perfect food to eat. If it was the elders who initiated the complaints, their punishment had been waiting in the wings since Har Sinai. There they ate and drank at the mountain, disregarding the sanctity of the experience and in flagrant haughtiness before Hakodosh Boruch Hu. The current complaining displayed a similar haughtiness, and Hashem punished them without further delay. Further, as Rav Scheinerman writes in Ohel Moshe, more was expected of the leaders than of the rest of the people, even if they only thought these complaints without articulating them, and only Hashem heard them. Therefore they were punished immediately.
Rabbi Ezrachi notes that it is probable that both the elite of the nation and the mixed multitude complained. While the elders used the complaints to mask their real reason, to distance themselves from Hashem, the mixed multitude needed no reason. They would complain simply for the sake of complaining. They would never be satisfied with anything.
Taking a psychological perspective, Rabbi Doniel Ochyan notes that when someone has everything they develop a sense of entitlement. Then, if they lack one thing, they complain, since they have come to believe they deserve everything. With this mindset, we believe bishvili nivra haolam/the world was created just for me while we neglect to counterbalance it with va'ani afar vaefer/and I am but dust and ashes. Both messages are valid. Each person is important, but it is also important to know one's place and that there are always people greater than oneself.
The Sifsei Chaim brings another dimension to this discussion. He explains that Hashem gave us the Torah specifically in the wilderness where we would be dependent on Him for everything so that we would learn and practice humility and accept the yoke of heaven. Citing an analogy from the Vilna Gaon, Rabbi Friedlander z”l notes that our sojourn in the desert can be likened to the fetus in its mother's womb where all its needs are provided for. But it was hard to be totally dependent on Hakodosh Boruch Hu, as human beings have a drive toward independence, and therefore humility and self - nullification are difficult. Hashem therefore answered the complaints of Bnei Yisroel about the heavenly manna by raining down copious amounts of slav/pheasants. The Sifsei Chaim notes that while Hashem controlled the amount of manna each person gathered, limiting it daily to one ephah per person, each person could gather as much slav as he wanted, leaving the individual in control of the quantity. As Rabbi Yoffe notes in Leavdecha Be'emet, people resent authority. Sometimes they rationalize by ignoring the authority and then claiming they were ignorant of the requirement.
Rabbi Friedlander z’l continues and again cites the Vilna Gaon. Using the phrase from the Haggadah, "Boruch HaMakom boruch Hu/ Blessed is the Omnipresent One Blessed is He," The Sifsei Chaim explains that HaMakom is the way we express God's name in relation to the world, while Hu represents the God Who is beyond our understanding. The elders, in spite of all the miracles, glory and kindness they witnessed still felt entitlement. They recognized HaMakom but refused to acknowledge the Hu. These elders, who did not have the proper perspective, died here.
But for some people, writes Rabbi Ezrachi complaining is their natural modus operandi. They need no reason to complain. It is their very nature to constantly find fault. However, a perspective, whether positive or negative, is contagious. Further, how we view the world will determine our state of happiness, writes Rabbi Feuer quoting Rav hunter z”l. If one tries, one can usually find a positive spin for most situations. Finding that explanation will bring greater contentment than complaining.
We have the ability to train ourselves toward positivity. If we train ourselves to bless people and even bless things regularly, we will flex the muscles of our positive outlook, our "good eye". It is in this vein that the custom has developed to ask for blessings from a baal simcha. In the simplest translation of this term, we would say that this is the person who is celebrating a joyous event, but on a more sophisticated level, the baal simcha is a master and owner of joy. Since joy overflows from him and he owns it, he has the power to share his joy by bestowing blessings on others.
While everyone has at least an occasional negative thought, one need not succumb to it. Sara Yosef writes that It's All in Your Mind. We can banish that negative thought, but since nature abhors a vacuum, we must replace the negative thought with a positive one, most effectively, a positive present affirmation.
Focusing on the negative had tremendous consequences for our great Yaakov Avinu. When he appeared before Pharaoh and Pharaoh asked how old he was, Yaakov replied that his years were few and bad. For this negative response, Hashem shortened Yaakov's predetermined lifespan by the same number of years as were in this negative response. Even Yaakov Avinu lost his focus on all the positive Hashem had done for him and focused, even momentarily, on the negative. While each of us also has both positive and negative in our lives, if we run the numbers, we would undoubtedly find Hashem's kindnesses to us far outweigh the challenges He has given us.
While we tend to think of Hashem as far away from us during our challenges, it is precisely through challenges that we grow. Both the Shem Mishmuel and the Baal Shem Tov compare our need for spiritual growth to a child's learning to walk. Initially, the toddler requires full parental support, but as the child grows stronger, the parent moves further away, challenging the child to walk farther. The child may think the parent is abandoning him, not realizing that the distance is forcing him to build up his muscles and grow. The parent is creating distance for the good of the child. Similarly, Hashem appeared to be distancing Himself from Bnei Yisroel by moving the Aron Kodesh from the center of the camp to the front, forcing Bnei Yisroel to move forward.
Real growth is not achieved in a state of euphoria, writes Rabbi Tatz in Living Inspired. Children's dreams, adult projects, life itself begins with great inspiration only to reach a stage of letdown. But that is when the work, growth and achievement really take place, as the effort is extended to counter the inertia and continue the learning, the project or the experience that result in spiritual growth. The Torah demands that we experience Hashem in all circumstances, writes Rabbi Schrage Grosbard. Hashem demands nothing from us beyond what our spiritual muscles can tolerate.
It is our responsibility to develop the good, positive eye in spite of all the challenges of life. Rabbi Fryman z”l in Shaarei Derech tells us that the only way to achieve this perspective is by knowing and feeling Hashem's love. Hashem has given us the greatest gift of all, life itself. We can break this down to contemplate all of the components of our body and of this life. Think of the intricate mechanics of our foot, for example, and all we can do with it. Should we not be grateful? [Ask a woman after childbirth or anyone after surgery how much more meaningful the beracha of Asher Yatzar is at the first opportunity to recite the beracha after these medical miracles.] Contemplating these chasadim Hashem has bestowed upon us generates love for Hashem. Who is the truly rich person? The one who loves and appreciates all that Hashem does for him.
The complaints of the people, continues Rabbi Fryman z”l, was symptomatic of the lack of love for and trust in Hashem. They did not think there was a reason Hashem subjected them to a tiring three day journey, for example. In this life, we should be content with our lot in all things physical, but we should continue to strive for more in the spiritual realm. As Rabbi Meislish says, Hashem gives each of us exactly what we need to fulfill our mission as an eved Hashem, whether it's wealth, talents, children, or anything else. When we focus on the gifts Hashem has given us rather than on what we are lacking, we are in growth mode, we see ourselves honestly and develop a love of Hakodosh Boruch Hu that will prevent us from complaining.