You Are Not a Victim
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The Talmud Yerushalmi says: "אין לך שעה קשה לישראל כשעה שאמר הקב"ה ואנכי הסתר אסתיר פני ביום ההוא"-The most difficult time for the Jewish people was when Hashem told them that there would come a time when He would conceal Himself from them. The Shomer Emunim writes that the double language of "הסתר אסתיר" refers to two different aspects of Hashem's concealment. First, there will be tough times and tragedies that we don't understand; that alone will be difficult for people to deal with. In addition, those tragedies will appear to occur randomly, without rhyme or reason, and this will make them all the more difficult to bear.
Today, we live in a time of great הסתר-concealment. We see good people dying young and so many people with seemingly insurmountable challenges. Some have rebellious children, which the Gemara says could cause even more pain than the bitter wars preceding the coming of Mashiach. Some suffer from poverty, which our Rabbis tell us can be more difficult than all the other afflictions combined. Some have been waiting years to get married. Others wait years to have children. People have health issues or Shalom Bayit problems. And the list goes on...
Dealing with the problems themselves is very difficult. But when a person feels that they are a victim of circumstance, it makes everything much harder. The Pasuk in Yeshaya says, "אנכי אנכי הוא מנחמכם"-The day will come when Hashem will personally come to each person and console him for all the hardships he had to endure in his life. Perhaps the double terminology of "אנכי אנכי" comes to console for the double concealment of "הסתר אסתר." Then we will see each hardship in a different light. We will understand the purpose of each one and how it was precisely controlled by Someone who loves us so much. Then, when everything is understood, everybody will be happy.
However, if we have Emunah, we don't have to wait to be happy. We don't have to know now the exact reason why things happen. All we have to know is that every single hardship is carefully planned and given by Hashem for a purpose. (If we would know that purpose, we ourselves would ask Him to do what He is doing.) A person has the unique ability to endure pain. Sometimes he will even pay money for it, if he knows how beneficial it is. For example, people pay doctors thousands of dollars to perform painful surgical procedures, because they know it will help them. Someone struggling financially should think, "I am trying my hardest. I am doing everything I can to make money, but it's not working. The only explanation is that Hashem is withholding the money at this time, and He knows what I need better than I do. That thought alone can potentially take away hours of stress. If someone is trying and praying to get married with no success, they should think, "I am doing what I can. It must be that Hashem wants me to remain single at this time for my benefit. He knows what He is doing. I am going to trust Him." That thought will make their problem much easier to deal with.
Everything that happens is a setup. A person should never feel like a victim. We live in an era in which Hashem is concealed. When we know that He is always behind the scenes, controlling everything, every step of the way, we will be able to accept our lives with love and continue living with happiness.
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