Stay Calm

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The Vilna Gaon writes that our main purpose in this world is to improve our character and break our natural inclinations. We all have the ability to be calm and easygoing, but it requires work. On an average day, a person will be confronted with many scenarios in which his patience is challenged. Every moment of those situations can be utilized for tremendous spiritual growth, if instead of responding with our initial "gut reaction", we are able to remain silent. Holding back our anger is a big Avoda.

The more Emunah we have, the easier it will be stay calm. The Ba'al Emunah knows that everything happening is from Hashem for a great reason. He is able to say גם זו לטובה-this is also for the best-and move on in all situations. We don't always get to see the good right away, but when we do, it gives us Chizuk to be able to respond with Emunah in the future.

A rabbi from Brooklyn told me that about twenty-five years ago he was in a Toronto airport, waiting with his wife and young daughter to take a Sunday night flight back to Newark. An announcement was made that all passengers travelling with little children can board, so they made their way toward the gate. They thought they would be first to board, but the airline representative who gave them their boarding passes told them to come with her instead. The rabbi asked, "Why? Is there a problem with our tickets?" She said, "No. Just come with me." The rabbi wanted an explanation, and she told him that the flight was overbooked, and he and his family are being bumped to a later flight. "But we're the first ones called to board," he protested, "Why are you throwing us off the plane?" The woman ignored him and told him to follow her. The rabbi was agitated and was about to raise his voice. His wife told him not to get upset and גם זו לטובה-this is also for the best. He said, "I know, but not now." Then his wife told him, "But you are a rabbi; it will be a Chilul Hashem." He said "You're right." However, first he asked the representative to write a note that they were chosen to be thrown off the flight for no good reason, and she did. They were shown to a new line where they had to wait for the next flight. It would be an extra half hour, but they noted that that flight was scheduled to land at LaGuardia Airport, which is closer to their house. On the other hand, their luggage was still on its way to Newark.

Suddenly, someone approached them and asked to see their tickets. He told them, "You're not getting on this flight. It's filled to capacity. You'll have to wait until tomorrow morning to go home." Now the rabbi was very upset. He had an early meeting the next day in Brooklyn. His daughter had school. He didn't want to make a Chilul Hashem, so he politely asked to speak to a supervisor. His wife and daughter went to sit down, while he waited for the supervisor, pacing back and forth. Then he noticed lying on the floor was his own garment bag, containing his two new suits and all of his wife's hanging clothes.

He thought to himself, "Now I get it, Hashem. I forgot this bag. If I would have gotten on the other flight, we would have lost all of our clothing." Then a manager came out and said, "I saw that note that you were kicked off the other flight. We're going to let you on this flight, and we apologize for the inconvenience. We have a policy to reimburse any passengers who were aggravated with $300 per passenger." The rabbi returned to his wife, happily bearing the lost luggage and $600 in cash. They boarded the plane, but they were still worried about their other luggage. Just then, the flight attendant approached them. She said, "We know your luggage is on its way to Newark, but don't worry, just fill out this form, and we'll have it delivered directly to your house." Minutes later, the flight attendant returned and asked if they had a transportation issue, now that they were landing in a new airport. The rabbi said that they were going to take a car service either way. "How much is it?" she asked, and gave him the money for that as well.

The Rabbi commented afterwards, "What I was ready to explode about, was actually a Chesed from Hashem. He gave me back my luggage , plus $600, plus a free car service and we even landed at a closer airport and didn't have to wait for our luggage." It's always גם זו לטובה, and all delays are also for the best. If we believe it during a potentially stressful situation, we will be able to remain calm. Then we will have beautiful Midot and fulfill one of our main missions in this world.

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