Modeling and Mindfulness
Summary by Channie Koplowitz Stein
As Bnei Yisroel is about to enter Eretz Yisroel, Hashem lists both the blessings and the curses that await them, depending on their choices in serving Hashem. One of the key phrases and conditions for Hashem to bestow all these blessings upon us is that “Hashem will confirm you for Himself as a holy people … if you observe the commandments of Hashem your God and go in His ways.”
The question then comes up, what is unique about going in His ways that practicing this mitzvah will facilitate the outpouring of blessings from above, and secondly, how does one “go in His ways?” On the first question, Rabbi Reiss points out in Meirosh Tzurim that going in Hashem’s ways encompasses all the commandments, those between man and God as well as those between man and his fellow man, and is the path that will bring us closer to Hakodosh Boruch Hu. But we are still left with the question of what this means.
Rabbi Yerucham Levovitz gives us a unique twist on this question. Based on the verse that the stated goal of the generation of dispersement for building the Tower of Babel was to reach the heavens, the Daas Torah posits that the spirituality of the people aroused in them the desire to be closer to God. (This is much different than the usual interpretation that the people rebelled against God.) They erred in that they thought physical closeness to heaven would achieve their goal, much as Adam thought that if he would eat of the Tree of Knowledge and resemble God, as the serpent had suggested, he would achieve a closer relationship with his Maker. Obviously, the key to a proper relationship does not lie in physical proximity alone. But physical closeness does give one the opportunity to study the ways of another and learn from them, much as students and disciples learn the ways of their teachers and Rebbeim and can then copy and internalize those lessons. If we are not trying to emulate Hashem, it must mean, unfortunately, that we are too far from Him to observe His ways and copy them.
The purpose of our lives, writes Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz in Six Constant Mitzvoth, is to connect with Hashem through striving for perfection in our lives and in our role in perfecting the world. Recognizing this purpose is the basis for the faith that lets one see the hand of God in every aspect of one’s life. That means, writes Rabbi Levovitz, that we are a work in progress, that we must work on our growth in emulating Hakodosh Boruch Hu so that we have transformed our essence into His middos. Until then, we are not yet complete, much like a stalk of wheat is not yet complete until it is ripe and can be transformed into bread and food, for the purpose of man is to be godlike, to allow His presence to permeate our lives.
Nevertheless, we are still left with the question of how are we to follow in His path. As the Gemarrah teaches us, we are to emulate His ways, to clothe the poor, visit the sick and do other acts of chessed. Meirosh Tzurim points to another verse that tells us to do what is good and straight in the eyes of Hashem. Rabbi Reiss, quoting the sefer HaChinuch infers from this that we must always try to live within the spirit of the law, that we should act beyond what may be technically permissible and live with that which would find favor in God’s eyes. Further, citing Rambam, Rav Reiss continues that the straight path refers to the middle path, never going to either extreme (except in very unusual cases). So one should be generous and give tzedakah, but not give so much that he impoverishes himself. Further, one must have the wisdom to understand which behavior is appropriate in every circumstance. Just as Hashem is sometimes referred to as the Man of war and at other times as merciful and compassionate, we too must develop the sensitivity to know what kind of action is required in any circumstance. The proper path is the balance between extremes and the wisdom to use the appropriate characteristic in each circumstance.
Rebbetzin Feldbrand provides some additional insight into how we can walk in Hashem’s ways. She teaches that we must devote our lives to imitating our Creator’s Thirteen Attributes of Mercy, and work on improving our negative character traits which are impediments to these improvements. All the negative character traits, notes the Chazon Ish can essentially be boiled down to one premise: To relinquish control to one’s instincts and desires. In contrast, the essential good attribute is to maintain one’s control over one’s instincts and desires. Working on this is a constant process that cannot be successful overnight. Our middos, our positive characteristics, may not be found in the Torah itself, for they form the foundation upon which Torah can be built, writes Rabbi Moshe Scheinerman in Ohel Moshe. They are a given, much as an architect may assume the contractor already knows he must pour the concrete foundation before he constructs the building. Our job is to work on strengthening this foundation and in learning to control our negative tendencies so that we do not become vehicles for jealousy and anger. This is walking in His ways, and explains why the verse is placed here in the middle of the blessings, for he who works on himself to become more godlike will merit becoming a conduit for receiving these blessings.
It is not enough to act on chessed opportunities as they present themselves, note both Rabbi Reiss and Rabbi Wolbe. One must be proactive and seek opportunities for chessed. Just as Hashem’s essence is giving and being compassionate constantly, so should we nurture within ourselves the desire to search for opportunities to do chessed, to recognize a need without being asked, to see the pain in someone’s eyes and offer comfort, to pick up the slack when a neighbor is overwhelmed. And if you can’t find a way to actively help, you can at least daven for them. In short, become a chessed person. To walk in His ways is to be active in the process, not passive. Hashem is compassionate 24/7; we need to practice chessed not just during convenient “office hours”. As Rabbi Feinstein points out, our patriarch Avraham was in physical pain, yet his emotional pain at being unable to perform chessed to wayfarers propelled him to wait at his door hoping to greet a lone traveler and offer him food and drink.
While we have been discussing ways we can emulate Hashem, there is one area in which it would seem impossible for us to do so. Hashem is unique, singular, there is nothing beside Him. How are we to emulate this quality of singularity within ourselves and within our own lives? In what way are we too singular? If we are to emulate Him, we can at least strive to be independent, not asking others to do for us what we can do for ourselves, teaches Rabbi Shimshon Pincus, theTeferes Shimshon. The beauty of each person can only be discerned through his individuality and solitary self, and it is only through this inner, independent essence that he can form a relationship with the Ribbono shel olam.
In fact, writes Rabbi Wolbe in his essay Chodesh Horachamim, Man was created as a single individual, only later divided into separate male and female entities. While we play multiple roles in our lives - daughter, student, parent, spouse, professional – none of these roles defines our inner essence. That essence can only be discovered and nurtured in solitude. The work of self discovery is difficult. It explains why we crave busyness and constant connection to others (especially now with all the technical social media). But each of us is responsible for our own growth and our own actions, and each of us will be judged on the basis of our own uniqueness, passing before God’s judgment one by one. During the month of Elul we should carve out some alone time to work on knowing ourselves and working on those character traits that need our attention in order to make ourselves more perfect in Hashem’s image.
Rabbi Itamar Schwartz explains how one should attempt to create a balance between his social self and his unique solitary self. We are all social beings, but we also need to carve out time to be alone and be comfortable with who we are. Alone time begins by learning to focus and learning to live in the moment. Is it really necessary to answer the phone the moment it rings, even if you are disturbed while doing something else? Allow yourself to turn off all outside distractions and sit in quiet solitude. Learn that there is a difference between solitude and loneliness, and appreciate your inner self so that you can turn inward and hear that still, small voice that connects you to your Godly essence.
Go in His ways. Emulate Him. Be straight and a person of chessed. Most of all, recognize that you are unique and have the potential to be very godly and thereby establish a beautiful and strong bond with Hakodosh Boruch Hu.