Mourner's Kaddish

Richard B. Aiken

Kaddish: For Whom To Say

Kaddish for Parents/Exceptions

Mourner's kaddish is only supposed to be said for parents, unless no one else is saying kaddish for the dead person. If both your parents are still alive, you may not say mourner's kaddish for someone else unless you get your parents' permission.

Kaddish for Relatives Other than Parents

If you wish, you may say mourner's kaddish for family members other than parents, especially during shloshim (the first 30 days after burial), since the first 30 days after death are the most difficult for the dead person's soul.

However, you may say kaddish for anyone even after shloshim ends, if you wish, until the end of 11 months (for a shomer-mitzvot person) or 12 months (for a non-shomer mitzvot person. But in a place where only one person says kaddish, you may not supplant another person who is halachically required to say kaddish.

Kaddish: How Long To Say: Shomer Shabbat or Not

Kaddish is only said for 11 months for a shomer Shabbat Jew and 12 months for a non-shomer-Shabbat Jew.

Kaddish Timing: Last Day of Kaddish

The last day of kaddish is based on the day he or she was buried.

The final kaddish for a mourner, at the end of 11/12 months, will always be at mincha, regardless of when the dead person died or was buried.

Kaddish: Who Should Say: Sons Six and Above

All sons age 6 and above are required to say kaddish for a dead parent.

NOTE: Women are not required to say kaddish.

Kaddish: Who Should Say: Women

Women are not required to say kaddish, and it is not customary for them to do so.  But if they want to, it is best if at least one man says kaddish with the woman.

Kaddish Frequency: Needs of Dead Person

Each dead person needs kaddish to be said for him or her:

  • By at least one person.

Note: If more than one person who was close to the dead person (such as a relative) says kaddish, it is a merit for the soul of the dead person.

  • At least once a day.

Note: More frequently is commendable, since kaddish relieves a dead person's soul from gehenna.

Kaddish Frequency: Requirements of Sons

Each son age 6 and above is required to say kaddish for his dead parent at least once a day.

Note: “Day” here means from dark until the following sunset. If you say kaddish at mincha and the following ma'ariv, you have covered two days.

Saying Kaddish Multiple Times

Even though saying kaddish many times benefits the dead person's soul, there is no need--nor is it the custom--to attend multiple minyans each day in order to say kaddish for a dead person many times.

Kaddish: With Whom To Say

Saying Kaddish in Unison

Ideally, only one mourner should say kaddish, whether mourner's kaddish, rabbis' kaddish, etc. Any kaddish said by more than one mourner should be said in unison.

Copyright 2015 Richard B. Aiken. Halacha L’Maaseh appears courtesy of www.practicalhalacha.com Visit their web site for more information.

This material is provided for informational purposes only – not a substitute for the consultation of a competent rabbi.