Death and Mourning

Introduction to Death and Mourning

When we hear of a death, we say Baruch Dayan Ha'Emet to acknowledge that even though we are unhappy about a person's dying, we recognize that it is part of God's operation of the world.

Close to Death

Changing Sick Person's Hebrew Name

When a person is very ill and is younger than expected to have a deadly illness, the person may change his or her Hebrew name.

• If he or she lives (in health, such as able to walk around outside) for at least 30 days after changing his or her name, the person should keep that name (and if the person dies, that changed name should go on the tombstone).
• If the person dies in less than 30 days, the person's original name reverts to being the valid name.

Confession/Vidui

A very sick person who might die soon should say a special confession (vidui). It is not a problem to say it multiple times during one's life.

Note: If the person cannot say vidui, someone else says it for the person.

Preparation of Body

Chevra Kadisha

There is a “holy society” (chevra kadisha) for males and a separate one for females.

Cleaning before Tahara

Blood

Any blood should be wiped up and the cloth should be buried with the body.

Wet Cloth and Soap

The body is cleaned with a wet cloth and soap (if necessary).

Tahara

No Tahara

A dead body that bleeds a lot, such as after being shot or in a car crash, does not get purification (tahara) by water.

Three Buckets of Water

A ritual purification is performed (“tahara”) by pouring three buckets of water over the body:

The body is stood up and water is poured from the head over the body. The subsequent buckets are poured before the previous ones are empty, so that the water from the subsequent bucket overlaps the water from the previous one.

Psukim

Certain lines from the Torah (psukim) are said during the purification.

Dressing

Shrouds, Hat, Robe

The body—whether male or female--is wrapped in shrouds: shirt, pants, socks (or long pants with the feet sewn up), hat (women who covered their hair while alive get two hats), and robe (kittel) on top of all. The hat covers the face.

Talit

An adult male is wrapped in a talit but one of the tzitziyot is made invalid/pasul.

Child's Dressing

A child under bar mitzva or bat mitzva age also gets dressed the same way as an adult, except if less than 7 years old (consult a rabbi in that case).

Egg and Wine for Face of Dead Person

Some people have the custom of putting egg and wine on the face of a dead person, but this is not halacha.

Positioning

Arms on Sides, Hands Open

The body is placed lying on its back, with arms on the sides and hands open.

Note on Christian Hospitals

In many Christian hospitals, as soon as a person dies, the arms are put in the shape of a cross.  After rigor mortis, it is very difficult to move the arms, so if the arms were crossed, they should be uncrossed as soon as possible.

Feet First

The body is removed from the building feet first. (This is a non-binding custom, not a halacha.)

In the Presence of the Body

Lighted Candle Near Head of Dead Person

It is customary to place a lighted candle near the head of a dead person.

Put Dead Body on Floor

It is customary to put a dead body on the floor, if possible.

Shomer To Honor Dead Person

A “watcher” (shomer) should stay with a dead body at all times until the burial, if possible, to honor the dead person. The watcher should be close enough to be able to see the body. A non-Jew may be a watcher, but only b'di'avad.

Note: If the body is being shipped somewhere, it is preferable that a shomer stay with the body, but it is not required.

Shomer for Several Days

When a person dies on Shabbat or a Jewish festival, a watcher (shomer) should still be present until burial, even if there will be a delay of several days.

Woman Shomeret

A woman may be a watcher (shomeret) for a dead person.

Note: Either gender may watch the other, but the custom is to have the same gender where possible.

Eating in Room with Body

Don't eat in a room in which there is a dead body.

Copyright 2015 Richard B. Aiken. Halacha L’Maaseh appears courtesy of www.practicalhalacha.com Visit their web site for more information.

This material is provided for informational purposes only – not a substitute for the consultation of a competent rabbi.