200. Seeking Forgiveness

Teshuvah 2:8

The confession recited by universal practice is “Aval Anachnu Chatanu” (“but we have sinned”). This is the crux of the confession. Sins that were confessed on one Yom Kippur should still be confessed on the next, even if one remained consistent in his repentance, as per Psalms 51:5, “I acknowledge my transgressions and my sins are always before me.”

Teshuvah 2:9

Teshuvah and Yom Kippur only atone for offenses that one has committed against God, such as eating prohibited food, participating in forbidden sexual unions, etc. Sins that a person has committed against his fellow man, such as injuring someone, cursing him, stealing from him, etc., will not be forgiven until the offender pays any damages due and appeases the one he wronged. It is not enough just to pay for damages; the offender absolutely must appease the injured party and ask his forgiveness. Even if one person only upset another with words, he must appease him and seek his forgiveness.

If the injured party does not want to forgive him, he should bring a group of three friends with him and ask again. If the injured party still isn’t appeased, he should do this a second time, and a third. If the injured party still won’t forgive him, the offender can stop; he need not pursue the matter any further. At this point, the one who is refusing to grant forgiveness is the one who is considered a sinner. The exception to this is when the injured party is the offender’s teacher. If that is the case, the offender should continue to seek his forgiveness until he receives it, even if it takes a thousand attempts.