Shemoneh Esrei 29: Does it Hurt?

As we have mentioned previously, all of the middle brachos of request were composed in the plural.  This is because when we daven, we daven not only for ourselves but also for klal Yisrael as a whole, for the tzibur, for our families, and for other specific individuals.  Perhaps this is most evident in our brachah of רפאנו where, in many siddurim, there is even a “Y’hi Ratzon” to list specific names of cholim.

What is the power and z’chus behind one person davening for another?  The Gemara (Bava Basra 116a) states “כל שיש לו חולה בביתו ילך אצל חכם ויבקש עליו רחמים–One who has an ill person in his household should approach a chacham who will invoke [heavenly] mercy for him.”

Why does the Gemara suggest going to a chacham?

The answer, according to HaRav Chaim Friedlander (Sifsei Chaim – Pirkei Emunah V’Hashgachah, vol. 1, page 451), is “נושא בעול עם חברו–nosei b’ol im chaveiro (bearing the burden with his fellow).”

When we truly feel that the pain of the person we are davening for is our pain, then Hashem views it as if we are davening for our own needs as well.  The Gemara says to go to a chacham because he will be able to feel our pain, and then his tefilos on our behalf will have the power of a tefilah for his own needs, since Hashem will see his pain.  The same is true when we go to a gadol and receive a brachah.  HaRav Friedlander says that the brachah is like a tefilah to the source of all brachos, Hashem.  Many g’dolim today and in the past take our tzaros to heart and cry and daven for us.  The Chazon Ish would lament that if only people knew how he cried for them, they would come back and let him know if things improved for them or if they received salvation, so that he could rejoice with them.

But how can we feel another’s pain to that extent?

Keeping these segments brief does not allow us to fully explore HaRav Shimon Shkop’s magnificent introduction to his sefer Shaarei Yosher.  All who can are urged to learn it in the original.  That said, what can help us here is the principle he derives from “קדושים תהיו–K’doshim tihyu.”  When we say “אני–ani (I),” we typically mean exactly that: me, myself, and I.  If we merit to get married and if we have a successful marriage, we realize “I” now includes “my spouse and I.”  If we are zocheh to family, it includes our family.  This concept continues until we can grow to the point where “me” includes all of klal Yisrael and even all of Hashem’s creations.  Living our lives with this expanded sense of “I” is the fulfillment of the mitzvah of קדושים תהיו and that is what makes one a “kadosh.”  He refers to this as encompassing the entire root and foundation of the aspirations and purpose of our lives!

When we expand our sense of “I” we can better understand the power of davening for others.  If it truly hurts me, it is a more personal tefilah and is more likely to be said with more sincerity and feeling.

May we all be zocheh to grow to this expanded understanding of “ani.”