77. Lashon Hara

Deios 7:3

The Sages have told us that there are three sins for which payment is exacted in this world but the offender is nevertheless denied a portion in the Next World. These are idolatry, forbidden sexual relations, and murder. Lashon hara, however, is equal to them all. They also said that one who speaks lashon hara is like one who denies God. This is inferred from Psalms 12:5, which says, “They have said: Our tongues will make us mighty; our lips are with us. Who is master over us?” They further said that lashon hara kills three people: the one who spoke it, the one who listened to it, and the one about whom it was spoken. The one who listens to lashon hara is affected even worse than the one who speaks it.

Deios 7:4

Certain things are considered to contain traces of lashon hara. For example, if someone says, “Who will tell so-and-so that he should keep acting like he is now?” or "Don’t talk about so-and-so; I don’t want to talk about what happened,” and things like that.

It is also considered traces of lashon hara to praise someone in front of his enemies. This is because it will encourage those enemies to disparage the person in question. Regarding this matter, King Solomon says in Proverbs (27:14), “One who praises his friend early in a loud voice, early in the morning, actually curses him.” This is because his positive action brings about a negative result.

Similar to this is the case of one who speaks lashon hara in a joking fashion, as if he has no animosity. This was also discussed by Solomon: “Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death, so is one who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I’m only kidding’” (Proverbs 26:18-19).

The same is true of one who speaks lashon hara with “plausible deniability,” pretending that he’s innocently relating an incident not knowing that it contains harmful information. When he is reprimanded, he claims not to have been aware of the impact of his words.