71. Who to Emulate

Deios 6:1

It is natural for a person’s character and deeds to be influenced by others, so that he follows the local standards of behavior. Therefore, one should associate with wise and righteous people in order to learn from them. Conversely, one should avoid evil people who walk in darkness, so he won’t come to emulate their deeds. Regarding this matter, King Solomon taught, “One who walks with the wise will become wise, while one who associates with fools will suffer” (Proverbs 13:20). Similarly, the very first verse in Psalms tells us, “Happy is the man who has not followed the advice of evil people.”

If a person lives in a place where the standard of behavior is evil and the people do not follow the proper path, he should move to where people are righteous and follow the ways of the good. If he only knows of places where people follow improper paths, or if he is unable to move to a place where the standard of behavior is appropriate, he should live in seclusion as per Eicha 3:28, “Let him sit alone and be silent.” If the locals are sinful people who do not allow him to live there unless he mingles with them and emulates their negative behavior, it is preferable for him to live in the wilderness rather than comply as per Jeremiah 9:1, “Who will give me a dwelling place for travelers in the desert?”

Deios 6:2

There is a mitzvah to follow the wise and their students in order to learn from their deeds as per Deuteronomy 10:20, “you shall cling to Him” (referring to God). The Sages asked, “Is it possible for a person to cling to God?” They explained this mitzvah to mean that we should embrace the wise and their students. Therefore, a man should try to marry a Torah scholar’s daughter, and to have his daughter marry a Torah scholar. He should eat and drink with scholars, conduct business on their behalf, and associate with them in every way possible. The Sages also instructed us to metaphorically sit in the dust of their feet and drink in their words.