69. The Proper Order

Deios 5:10

A Torah scholar is prudent with his finances. He eats, drinks, and provides for his family according to his financial ability without having to overexert himself. The Sages have instructed us that a person should only eat meat with appetite as per Deuteronomy 12:20, “If your soul desires to eat meat....” It is sufficient for a healthy person to eat meat once a week, though if one can afford to eat it every day, he may do so. The Sages also told us that one should eat less than his means allow, dress in accordance with his means, and provide for his wife and children beyond his means.

Deios 5:11

The sensible practice is for a man to first establish an occupation so that he can support himself. Next, he should purchase a house to live in. After that, he should get married. This follows the order of Deuteronomy 20:5-7: “Who is the man who has planted a vineyard and not yet redeemed it? ... Who is the man who has built a house and not dedicated it? ... Who is the man who has betrothed a woman and not yet married her?”

A fool, on the other hand, gets married first. Then, if he can afford it, he buys a house. Finally, towards the end of his life, he looks for a job or he supports himself from charity. The way of fools is seen in the order of the curses in Deuteronomy 28:30: “You will betroth a woman... You will build a house... You will plant a vineyard….” In this case, one’s actions are out of the proper order and ultimately doomed to fail. When it comes to blessings, I Samuel 18:14 says, “David was insightful in all his dealings and God was with him.”