Performing Medical Procedures on a Parent

It is generally forbidden to perform a medical procedure upon ones parents lest one cause them to bleed or otherwise wound them in any way. To do so is a serious violation of the mitzva of kibbud av va’em.[1] Wounding a parent is so severe a transgression that the punishment for doing so was death in ancient times, as it says “Anyone who strikes his father or his mother will be put to death."[2] This includes merely bruising a parent! There were sages of the Talmud who would not even let their children remove a thorn or splinter that was embedded in their skin, lest doing so cause them to bleed.[3]

We see from here that children may not serve as their parents’ doctor or dentist, as such treatments generally include some measure of “wounding,” such as administering an injection when needed. In the case of a dentist, even a routine teeth cleaning or flossing can cause bleeding. As such, it is forbidden for a child to perform such procedures on a parent. There are also those who will not give a parent a haircut lest they unintentionally scratch or wound them in the process.[4]

In the event that there is simply no one else available to perform a needed medical procedure on one’s parent then one will often be permitted to do it if the parent so requests.[5] Indeed, a number of authorities rule that the prohibition against wounding a parent does not apply when the parent specifically requests to be wounded, and if the circumstances warrant doing so.[6]Some authorities rule that even if there are others who are available to perform a medical procedure on one’s parent, a child is permitted to perform it if he is better qualified or if he will cause the parent less pain.[7] Similarly, the concept of “one does not merit to be healed by everyone” is also cited to allow a child to perform a medical procedure on a parent should the parent insist, as perhaps it was decreed from Above that the needed healing is destined to emanate from one’s child.[8]

A number of authorities permit a child to perform a procedure on a parent if the parent would otherwise be forced to spend large sums of money in order to have the procedure done by someone else.[9] There are also grounds to allow performing mitzva-related procedures on a parent. As such, a son would be permitted to circumcise his father, if needed.[10]

[1] YD 241:3.

[2] Shemot 21:15.

[3] Sanhedrin 84b.

[4] Leket Yosher 2:37.

[5] Rambam, Hilchot Mamrim 5:7; Rema, YD 241:3.

[6] Minchat Chinuch 48.

[7] Aruch Hashulchan, YD 241:6; Be'er Moshe 4:82-84.

[8] Shevut Yakov 1:86. See also B’tzel Hachachma 2:25 and Be’er Moshe 4:84.

[9] Gesher Hachaim 2:81:1; Yafeh L'lev 3:241; Minchat Yitzchak 1:27.

[10] Shraga Hameir 6:2.