Reading Someone Else's Mail

Rabbeinu Gershom is renowned for a number of religious enactments that he instituted during his lifetime. These include a ban against marrying more than one wife, a ban against divorcing a woman against her will, and the requirement to perform chalitza rather than yibum, among others.[1] These decrees are known as “the cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom.” Many of the other sages of the generation endorsed Rabbeinu Gershom’s decrees, as well.[2] One who violates the cherem may be subject to public ostracization and other sanctions.[3]

The ban against reading someone else’s mail, or other personal documents, is probably the most well known of Rabbeinu Gershom’s enactments.[4] There are a number of explanations and interpretations as to why this ban was enacted.[5] According to one opinion, it was in order to ensure that people would feel a sense of security that their privacy is protected. There is also an opinion that reading other people’s mail and learning of their private affairs might tempt one to share such information with others (including oneself!), something that would be a severe transgression in its own right. According to this approach, the ban is intended to prevent lashon hara and rechilut.[6] It is also noted that even if the recipient of the mail or document in question wouldn’t mind if others read it, perhaps the sender of the item would.[7]

Others suggest that reading someone else's mail without their knowledge is a form of theft, as is taking anything that doesn’t belong to you. Similarly, handling and using other people’s property without permission is forbidden, and mail is no different.[8] There is also an opinion that reading someone else's mail is a violation of "v’ahavta l'reiacha kamocha", namely, that just as you would not want someone to read your mail without permission, so too you may not read other people’s mail without permission, either.[9]

It is also forbidden to merely open envelopes and packages addressed to others, even if one has no intention of examining the contents.^[10] In fact, in some communities it is customary to write the word “cherem,” or something similar, on packages and envelopes in order to deter others from opening them. The ban also prohibits listening to other people's phone conversations, and other similar activities.[11] It goes without saying that the ban applies to all electronic media, such as reading people’s emails, as well.[12]

One is permitted to read documents (and other materials) that have been thrown away by their owners, or if it is otherwise clear that the owner of the documents would not mind.^[13] As such, postcards and other explicitly exposed materials may be read,^[14] though it is praiseworthy to avoid reading even these things, as well.[15] One who finds a letter that has been ripped to shreds should not attempt to read it as the owner likely did so in order to ensure that it would not be read by others.[16] It is strictly forbidden to open and read the notes that are left at holy sites, such as at the Western Wall.[17] Our sages teach that the severity of revealing secrets cannot be over emphasized.^[18]

[1] See also Kol Bo 116; Be’er Hagola, YD 334:123; Aruch Hashulchan, YD 334:21.

[2] Be’er Hagola, YD 334:123.

[3] YD 234.

[4] But see Bnei Banim 3:17 for a possible alternative source for the cherem.

[5] For more on this see: Talmudic Encyclopedia s.v. Cherem D'rabbeinu Gershom.

[6] Halachot Ketanot 1:276; Chakakei Lev, YD 49.

[7] Halachot Ketanot 1:59.

[8] Torat Chaim (Maharchash) 3:47; Kol Gadol 1:102.

[9] Chakakei Lev, YD 49.

[10] Beit David, cited in Bnei Banim 3:17.

[11] Teshuvot V’hanhagot 3:388.

[12] See: http://ohr.edu/ask_db/ask_main.php/67/Q1/ and http://ohr.edu/yhiy/article.php/1125.

[13] Maharam Mirottenberg 160a; Aruch Hashulchan, YD 334:21; Shevet Hakehati 1:315. See also Kol Gadol 1:102.

[14] Aruch Hashulchan, YD 334:21; Bnei Banim 3:17.

[15] Shevet Hakehati 1:315:1,2,6; Aseh Lecha Rav 5:108.

[16] Shevet Hakehati 1:315:1.

[17] Bishvilei Haparasha p.405; Shevet Hakehati 1:315:2.

[18] Orchot Chaim of the Rosh 41; Shaarei Teshuva 3:225.