1,327. Informing the Bereaved

206:8 If a person learned after a yom tov that a relative died before that yom tov, even though the holiday would cancel shiva for those who had already observed some mourning before yom tov, it wouldn't for him since he had not done so. If anyone learns of a close relative's passing, even on the thirtieth day after the burial, it is considered timely notification and that person must observe shiva and shloshim.

206:9 If a person's relative died and he doesn't know, one should not inform him. Regarding one who does inform him, King Solomon said, "the one who delivers a bad report is a fool" (Proverbs 10:18). One is permitted to invite the uninformed bereaved to engagement and wedding feasts and to all other celebrations since, so long as he doesn't know, he is like any other person.  Similarly, if a husband knows that his wife has lost a relative (and she is still unaware), he is permitted to have marital relations with her because she doesn't know.