A Husband's Role at Childbirth

[1] There is much discussion in halachic literature as to whether a man is permitted to participate, or even be present, when his wife gives birth. This is largely because it is unclear at what point in childbirth a woman becomes a nidda, thereby rendering any physical contact between her and her husband forbidden.

According to many authorities, a woman is a nidda as soon as her water breaks. Some even insist that this ruling is "the accepted opinion among halachic authorities" though the reality is that many disagree.[2] According to other authorities, a woman is not necessarily a nidda when her water breaks. Rather, once her water breaks she should simply perform a bedika, an internal examination, to see if any blood was emitted along with the water. If no blood is found then she remains permitted to have physical contact with her husband.[3] Indeed, it is argued that the breaking of the water is unrelated to uterine blood flow. In fact, there are no classical halachic sources that seem to suggest that a woman is automatically a nidda when her water breaks.[4]

Similarly, there is some discussion as to when during the actual labor process a woman is considered a nidda. The Shulchan Aruch merely states that a yoledet, a woman who has given birth, is a nidda. There is no mention in Shulchan Aruch regarding the onset of nidda status during childbirth.[5] There is reason to suggest, however, that a woman is considered to have the status of a yoledet "from the time that she sits on the birthing stool or from the time that blood comes forth or from the time that her friends have to support her arms and hold her up since she cannot walk."[6] We see from here that a woman does become a nidda well before delivery.[7] Rav Moshe Feinstein[8] recommends following the strict approach of assuming that one's wife is a nidda from the very beginning of the labor process. Other authorities rule that if a woman needs her husband's help for care or in order to alleviate pain, and the like, then one may be lenient until she starts to see blood.[9]

Once a woman sees blood there is essentially no halachic justification or dispensation for a husband and wife to have any physical contact with each other. There is little basis to justify a husband and wife touching each other under the principle of "choleh" which does ordinarily allow a man to have physical contact with his wife in a case of great need.[10] This is because physical contact between a husband and wife during this time is difficult to justify considering that there are doctors and nurses readily available to assist a woman in labor in any way that she might need.[11] Some authorities permit a husband to touch his wife in extenuating circumstances by means of an interposition, such as gloves.[12]

Finally, there is also some discussion as to whether a husband should even be present in the delivery room at all. This is because a husband is forbidden to look at his wife’s intimate areas while she is a nidda, and it is difficult to avoid doing so during the labor process. Nevertheless, many authorities permit a husband to be in the delivery room while his wife is in labor.[13] As the Torat Hatahara writes, “A husband is permitted to be present in the delivery room in order for him to ensure that his wife is being properly taken care of, and to strengthen his wife’s spirits. This is especially true if one’s wife is very sensitive and scared of the birthing process in which case the husband’s presence is even more important.”[14] Other authorities forbid a husband to be present in the delivery room lest he come to touch her when forbidden or be tempted to watch the delivery.[15] There are also those who discourage a husband from being present in the delivery room but are lenient if necessary.[16] All authorities agree, however, that a husband is not permitted to watch the baby emerging from the birth canal for, as mentioned, staring at that area of one’s wife’s body while she is a nidda is forbidden.

[1] This chapter is based largely on Gray Matter Vol. 1 by Rav Howard Jachter, "A Husband's Participation in Childbirth" p.93-98.

[2] Badei Hashulchan, YD 194:30.

[3] Nishmat Avraham, YD 194:1.

[4] Taharat Habayit 2:53-54.

[5] YD 194:1-2.

[6] OC 330:3.

[7] Badei Hashulchan 194, biurim s.v. mipnei.

[8] Igrot Moshe, YD 2:75.

[9] Taharat Habayit Hakatzar 2:6.

[10] YD 195:16.

[11] Igrot Moshe, YD 2:65; Minchat Yitzchak 5:27.

[12] Nishmat Avraham, YS 195:3; Minchat Yitzchak 5:27.

[13] Igrot Moshe, YD 2:75; Nishmat Avraham, YD 195:3; Avnei Derech 9:53.

[14] Torat Hatahara p. 63

[15] Minchat Yitzchak 5:27, 8:30:2; Be’er Moshe 4:128; Sha'arei Halacha U'minhag Vol 4. pg. 39.

[16] Bnei Banim 1:33; Asei Lecha Rav 4:58.